Maple Hill
by fcklifeex
Summary: AU. Jax didn't drive into the truck instead he kept driving. Stopping in the small town of Maple Hill, SC where he battles the demons of the life he once loved. Despite battling depression, he finds a job as a mechanic where he runs into Aubrey. While at first they don't get along, she soon discovers his problem with drinking, in turn finding out his darkest secrets.
1. Chapter 1

So I couldn't wait to start writing this story. I had a dream about it (I know, i know, I'm weird) but I wanted to start writing. It's totally different from everything else I've written and it has nothing immediate to do with the show.

I hope you guys like it! As always, please let me know. Your comments and suggestions are what keeps things fun and interesting and inspires me.

* * *

Maple Hill, South Carolina

"Leave the Rest Behind"

The town sign read after weeks of cheap motels, countless bottles of liquor, packs of cigarettes, and aimless driving across the country. Leave the rest behind. That was exactly what he needed. Directionless, he continued to drive through what seemed like the center of the town. It was peaceful. Quiet. Brick buildings. Small shops. Farmer's markets. Well kept streets and trees. Maybe this was the one place he could settle into. Lay low - start anew.

Slowing to a stop in the parking lot of Maple Inn, the weary biker hopped off his Harley to admire the beauty of the old fashioned building, much like the rest of the town. He turned his view back towards the bike. His father's old bike. Never thought it would hold up on the drive but it did. He couldn't keep riding it much longer. It would be a constant reminder of everything he'd left behind and like this town's slogan - everything needed to be left behind. With a slow hoarse inhale, he turned his attention to the main entrance of the building - this was his future.

"Evenin' young man." The sweet old woman behind the desk greeted. "What brings you in at this hour?"

He took in her feeble appearance. She looked friendly, motherly. Wearing a light pink dress with a pale green cardigan draped over her shoulders. She was thin, despite her heavily wrinkled face, he could see the glimmer of green in her eyes. Her smile, warm and inviting. The comfort this place was providing only supported his decision of making a home out of Maple Hill.

"I'm new here. I need a room until I can get settled."

She moved slowly, pulling out a book with Reservations writing across the cover.

"What's your name, son?"

"Jax. Jax Teller."

He watched as she wrote down the name, not asking for an ID. It showed a lot about the town, trust must be a big factor.

"We'll put you on a nightly rate, honey. Just until you get on your feet. I'm Norma, my husband Jerry and I are the owners. What brings you into town?"

Pausing for a moment to sign the paperwork she laid out in front of him. He thought about how to answer her question. Telling anyone about his life in Charming was off limits. That person no longer existed. That life was nothing but a distant memory.

"Just time for me to settle down, Norma."

"Well you've picked the right place. Anything you need, you just holler okay? If you'd like I can show you around one of these days."

"Thanks, darlin"

Taking the key, he followed Norma up the flight of stairs to the room. The place was nice, roomy, pleasant. Just what he needed. Norma went down to grab him towels and other toiletries while he took off his flannel and white t-shirt before walking to the bathroom to turn on the shower. His appearance had changed due to little food and sleep. Spending nights in cheap motels and drinking heavily would do that to a man. He washed the wind-blown dirt off of his face, taking out his razor to shave the sparsely grown hairs forming into a beard.

He was going to give this place a shot. He would never be the person he was but he didn't want to. Normal is what he was aiming for now. Just another face in the crowd. Tomorrow he would look for a job. His best bet was a mechanic seeing that all he had was a GED, but he would make this work. He had too.

* * *

7AM -

Sleep abandoned him, mostly out of habit due to the compulsive need to ride his demons away in the past few weeks. The taste of Jack still lingering on his tongue from the previous night's binge, Jax grabbed the bottle off of the nightstand taking another swig before he got up off the bed to get ready for the day. After another shower, he combed his slick hair back and threw on a white t shirt, throwing a flannel over it along with a clean pair of jeans and his white air forces. unconsciously hooking his knife into his hip before making his way downstairs.

Norma wasn't behind the front desk this time, an older man was. He assumed this was her husband Jerry - a little shorter than Jax, a face lined with experience and wisdom, with faded blue eyes and thinning silver hair. He debated between introducing himself and heading straight for the door, but with Norma's hospitality - the last thing he wanted to be was rude, so he approached the man, extending his hand out for him to shake.

"You must be Norma's husband. I'm Jax Teller. Just rented the room upstairs."

"Ahh, Jax. Norma told me about you. We don't see many new faces in Maple Hill but they're nonetheless welcome."

The older man's southern accent was similar to Norma's, actually made it a bit difficult to understand them but he was grateful for the acceptance either way.

"Jerry Crawford." His hoarse voice added as he shook the young man's hand. "Norma went out into town this mornin' but she made some breakfast for yah. Left you some maps to get you acquainted with the town."

"She didn't have to do all of that. Thank you."

Jax followed the older hand into the kitchen of the Inn, where a plate of eggs and sausage was set up on the table for him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a homecooked meal. It'd been so long since Gemma had hosted a family dinner. Gemma - a name he could never speak of again. He gratefully accepted the breakfast, sitting down to eat while Jerry left to go back to the front desk. Hastily shoving fork fulls of food into his mouth, he skimmed the maps Norma had left him. Beckett Auto Repair, the only auto body shop in town, seemed like the place to start.

He cleaned off the dishes so Norma wouldn't have to before making his way outside to his bike to drive to the shop. The place was busy, he'd imagined it was because he was the only shop in town, but the business was still impressive. Parking in a spot, he climbed off the bike to take a look around. The building was white washed brick with a grey outline, Beckett Auto Repair written in huge white letters in the front. He walked inside the front door to see a waiting room with a few people hanging around and a petite honey blonde woman with eyes like the ocean, iridescent almost, flecked with every shade of blue. The tan in her skin and the sunshine in her hair only accentuating them further. Maybe Maple Hill wouldn't be so bad. He waited until she finished speaking with the man ahead of him in line before stepping up to her.

"Hi, I'm new here. Anyone I can talk to about a job here?"

He used the most charming voice he could. It had been rusty, sure, but he wasn't here to meet women, he was here for him, but it couldn't hurt to look either. Her full pink lips curved into an alluring smile as she spoke with a similar southern accent everyone in this town seemed to have, but coming out of her mouth made it sound sweeter.

"Let me go grab Andy for you. What was the name again"

"Jax."

He replied shortly as he watched her turn heel walking out of the back entrance towards the garage only to emerge a few minutes later with a disheveled man in his garage uniform covered in grease. He was Taller than Jax, about 6'3, messy short cut brown hair, with skin tanned like the girl at the counter with the same blue eyes. He wiped the oil off of his hands with rag before extending his hand at Jax.

"Jax? Howdy, I'm Andy, Andy Beckett. Heard you were lookin' for a job?"

Jax Teller and yes sir. I just moved here."

Jax shook his hand. His shake was firmer than Jerry's but there was a certain sense of hospitality with these people he'd only seen in movies. It was different. Charming gave the illusion of being this way but the turmoil inside that town would never allow it.

"Well, why don't we step into the office and see what you can do"

With a nod, he followed the well built man into the back room of the building. taking a seat across the desk from Andy. Looking around, he saw deer heads hung on the wall, pictures of him and the beautiful girl from the front desk as well as a picture of him with an older blonde, southern belle type women, he assumed to be his wife. Andy took a seat across from him, lowering the top half of his work overalls and adjusting the plain white T-shirt he wore under then before leaning forward on his elbows on the desk.

"So do you got a resume or anythin' on you?"

"No, I don't. But I'm a good mechanic, I've worked in a shop all my life. I know my way around anything."

"What shop?"

"Teller - Morrow - Out in California."

The man cocked an eyebrow. California was a long way away from here. He probably should've put more thought into preparing for this. A resume. Why didn't he think of that. Probably because he'd never needed one. He was a shoe in at TM. A shoe in for the club. What other job would he need? Never did he think he'd leave all of that behind and have to start over.

"Teller - you owned the shop?"

Inhaling quietly, he lowered his eyes to the ground. In times like this he'd be fidgeting with his rings but he'd left those behind as well. He knew questions like this would come up, but they didn't need to know all the gruesome details of all their deaths.

"No, sir. My father and step-father had opened the shop together, they both...passed."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Is that why you moved out here?"

"Yeah. Traveled around a while but decided to pick a place to settle down. Maple Hill seems to be it."

He watched Andy take a deep breath as he thought things over, praying silently that he'd overlook his lack of preparation. The older man looked up at Jax with a generous smile.

"I'll give you a shot, Teller. I could use the extra hands."

"Thank you. You won't regret it - sir."

"Andy, call me Andy. You can start tomorrow. I'll have Aubrey set you up with the paperwork, give you a tour of the shop. We open at 8am, close at 8pm. She sets up the shifts. Any availability issues, you let her know."

The two got up again, Jax following him to the front where Aubrey was standing at the doorway handing a pair of keys to a younger looking employee. He admired the shape of her long tan legs in cutoff shorts with a red, black, and white flannel button up, fitted to her figure, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Andy called her name, causing her to turn slowly, her blonde hair, swaying softly with her movement as she approached the two with a smile.

"Jax, this is my daughter Aubrey. Aubrey, this is our new hire Jax Teller."

"Glad to see it worked out for you."

She extended her hand as Jax eagerly took it into his, giving it a gentle shake. The softness of her skin felt like silk in his raw calloused hands. He gave her a smirk, grateful that they were willing to take a chance on him. He reluctantly let go of her hand as Andy spoke up again.

"Aubrey - get Jax set up with paperwork, give him a tour of the shop, and schedule him in tomorrow morning. I gotta get back to that Wrangler."

Andy left the garage and Aubrey turned her sights on Jax. Her lips lifted upwards into a smile giving off a warm glow of happiness that had long since left his life. He watched as her eyes squinted with her smile revealing her perfectly aligned white teeth and two symmetrical dimples on each side. He couldn't help but smile back though the smile didn't quite reach the darkness in his eyes.

"Let's get you started, shall we?"

She advised as she nodded her head towards the desk. They walked over and he patiently waited as she flipped through folders to pull out the paperwork he needed to fill out. He watched her delicate movements as she expertly made her way around the countless folders and file cabinets before approaching him with a clipboard and a pen.

"I'll need your driver's license."

She mentioned as she walked him over to the waiting area where he could have a seat to fill out his paperwork. He set the clipboard down on the seat, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet, taking out his license to hand it to her. Her nimble fingers grazing his as she took it before walking away. He looked over the paperwork, sucking in a deep breath at all the legal information it required. Taking a seat in the fluorescent lit room, he felt the anxiety building up in his chest as he began filling it out. What if they ran a background check? What if he had outstanding warrants? His mind raced as he stared at the first line on the form asking for his first name. He could do this. He needed to do this. He couldn't turn back now. With a sharp breath, he lifted the pen filling the sheets out line by line.

They made their way through the building - Aubrey showing him the ropes, explaining the opening and closing processes to him. The shop was significantly bigger than TM. More employees working at a time. No hang-arounds. No bar across the lot with a line of motorcycles. It was a legit business. She introduced him to a few of the men he'd be working with all of different age ranges but similar to Andy and Jerry in presence and behavior. He could get used to this.

* * *

Leaning his elbows onto his legs, he hunched over on the side of the bed. He took a long pull from the bottle, letting the smooth liquor make it's way down his throat. With each blink of the eye he'd see the blood stained roses, the body of his mother lifeless on the ground. He took another pull, each drink with the purpose of erasing that memory. The lines of misery were etched deeply into his once flawless face. There was no life in his eyes anymore - nor did he want there to be. There wasn't much he cared about anymore. Any and everything he loved died back in Charming. He managed to pass out, still fully clothed, after downing half of the bottle. Blurring all thought - cutting off any possibility of nightmares.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks everyone for the great response to this story! The chapter's are taking me longer to write since this story has very little to do with the show and it required a lot of character introductions, descriptions, details, etc. But I'm very excited!

Let me know what you think!

As always, I only own my OC's.

* * *

"Teller! You're late!"

Aubrey's voice rang out across the lot as Jax pulled his bike into a parking spot. Her tone much less welcoming today than it was yesterday when they'd met. He knew he was late. It was a wonder he'd even showed up after finishing the bottle of Jack the night before but he needed this. He walked over to the stone faced woman whose smile just yesterday warmed his day and now he could feel himself being intimidated by it. Clearly this wasn't going to go as smoothly as he planned. The mood he was in though, it would take all his efforts not to knock someone out.

"Sorry."

He mumbled, shoving his hands deep into his front pockets. His head booming at the sound of the busy lot. Squinting his eyes at the bright lights, he approached the counter, hoping for some leniency.

"It's been a long time since I had a start time at work. It won't happen again."

"First and last time, Jax. I ain't tryin' chase after my men. You wanna job, you stick to the schedule."

"Yeah."

Aubrey narrowed her eyes at his tone, not appreciating the fact that he wasn't taking this seriously. If it was one thing she prided herself on, it was how she ran this shop. Andy was an amazing mechanic but he left the business sense of the shop to her. She had to be tough in order to be respected by the men since she was the only woman there. Jax Teller was going to learn that pretty quickly. She walked to the supply closet grabbing a pair of the Beckett Auto Repair coveralls, tossing them over to him.

"Get changed and meet Jim by area 4. You'll be working with him for the week till you get the hang of it."

"I know how to work on cars." He defended himself as he caught the grey coveralls.

"Yeah, well you're working with Jim 'till you prove it."

She shot back bluntly as she motioned her hand towards the locker rooms before turning her back towards him, returning to her work at the desk. He bit the inside of his cheek at her coarseness. Nobody would've spoken to him like that in Charming. Especially not a woman. He had women like her at his beck and call, yet here she was snapping at him for being late. Making his way to the locker room and unbuttoning his flannel before pulling on the coveralls she'd provided. None of this mattered anyway. All he needed to do was keep his head down and make it throughout the day.

* * *

Jim was cool. Reminded him of Piney. He was a taller - older man, slightly overweight, no bullshit type but kind in the face. He'd been working with cars since he was a kid and been working for Andy for over 30 years. There was a sense of home about him that made Jax ease his guard. While the two worked on installing a transmission, Jim filled him in on Andy and Aubrey. Andy's wife had left them when Aubrey was 11. Had dreams of seeing the big city one day and abandoned her family to move to New York. The two hadn't heard from her since. Aubrey had matured quickly for her age. Andy was very lighthearted and easy going and Aubrey had to become his backbone: making all the tough calls, keeping the business running smoothly, making sure he took care of himself.

Jax raised his eyes, finding the beautiful glow of blonde curls reflecting in the sunlight. He found himself staring at her, unable to rip his eyes away, as she laughed with a customer at the doorway of the office. A laugh radiating with pure and genuine emotion and for a moment he felt happiness rush through him with an irresistible impulse to smile too. She had the kind of smile that made you feel happy to be alive - to forget everything even for a second, and feel a little more than human. His lips stretched into a smirk when her baby blues met his before he lowered his gaze back to the car he was working on.

"Need a hand liftin' your jaw off the ground, son?"

Jim interrupted once he'd come back from grabbing them a cool drink. The hot mid summer sun beaming directly above the lot definitely made it hard to work in, keeping the coveralls on was become more of a hassle. Gratefully accepting the bottle of water, he lifted his eyes once more to see that she'd disappeared from the doorway and a hint of disappointment hit him. Looking at Jim, he took a long sip of the water before unzipping the uniform, pulling the top half down.

"So do we get a lunch? Or does queen bee have you workin' like till close?"

With a raspy laugh, the older man patted his shoulder with a knowing gaze. "You're on her bad side already ain'tcha boy? She ain't so bad. Aubrey runs a tight ship, you do your job and there won't be an issue. I have my lunch at 2, we're off the clock at 5. She'll keep you till 6 since you was an hour late so you might wanna wait couple more hours."

"Alright, do we just go or do we need permission for that too?"

"I'd ask if i were you."

Jax let out a frustrated sigh as his eyes shifted once more to the doorway only to find her leaning against the frame, arms crossed over her small figure as she stared directly at him. He could see flecks of gold in her eyes as they reflected in the afternoon sun giving a warm appearance but her stare was anything but. It was sharp, determined. He couldn't read her to save his life. Most people would look away when they were caught staring but not her. She kept her cold glacial eyes on him until he lowered his, then with a blink, she'd disappeared again.

He continued to work again, finally getting done with the car they'd been working on since morning. He wiped the sweat off of his brow before taking another sip of his water. He was starving at this point. Jim had already left for lunch and just like the old man had warned him, he'd be staying later. He hadn't worked this hard in so long he could feel the soreness of his muscles.

"Teller!"

Her voice rang out again from the office door. He turned his head to look over at Aubrey motioning him over with her finger. There was something so unintentionally sexual about the movement of her body inviting him over and he gladly obliged. Leaving his rag and his water bottle on the cart, he walked across to the air conditioned building to find Aubrey talking to Andy in his office before stepping back out to meet him.

"You get an hour lunch. Not a minute longer, yah' hear?"

"Anywhere good to eat closeby?"

He asked as he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back out of his face. She looked up from her work and her face seemed to soften whenever the topic wasn't about work.

"You can try Minnie's cafe." She suggested with a smile. "Serves the best lunch in town. If you take a right off the lot it'll be on your left a quarter mile up."

With a nod he took off, following her directions to the cafe which must've been pretty popular since the line was practically out the door. Regardless he waited, placing an order for a burger and fries before taking a seat in a corner booth by the window overlooking the street. His eyes wandered about as he waited for the food, observing the people here - their behavior, their manner, the speech - it was all so different. His eyes landed on a couple sitting a few tables away from him. A blonde man with a woman with long brown hair - acting madly in love. The guy would say something and the woman would laugh, a whole-hearted laugh, with love and affection behind it. His mind taking him back to happier times when he and Tara were like that. He would take her out on dates, anywhere she'd want. The pair couldn't keep their hands off of eachother.

"All-American n' fries?"

The waitress stopped by interrupting his thoughts while placing a plate of food on his table. She was young - college aged - whatever that was. Her long brown hair frazzled as she swept the bangs out of her face, placing both hands on her hips and looking down at him with a smile. She was sweet looking, not like Aubrey, but pretty.

"Haven't seen your face 'round here before. Where you from?"

Jax looked up at her a slight smile on his face. Did he stick out that much? "California. Just moved to town night before last, darlin'. Am I that obvious?"

"Maple Hill's a small town. New faces aren't hard to come by."

Her smile was soft like the tone of her words. He'd come to enjoy speaking with the people here. Everyone seemed at such peace and harmony.

"I'm Jenny. " She continued. "Where you stayin' at?"

"Jax. I'm at the Maple Inn until I find a house."

"Oh with the Crawford's! They're the best. You watch out now - Norma will keep you there forever! She loves to coddle people!"

He laughed before taking a bite of his burger. Seemed exactly like Norma so far. Two mornings full of homemade breakfast and dinners, made beds, and freshly folded towels. It was making the motivation to find a house almost nonexistent.

"I can see that. You know them?"

"Oh honey, everyone knows everyone in Maple. Words already goin' 'round bout the new guy."

"Great."

He laughed before they heard her name being called from the back of the counter by another girl her age. Jenny turned her head to look before returning her eyes to Jax, taking in his godlike appearance. He gave her a slight smirk as she turned to walk back, it was nice to know that he still had that effect on women seeing as the only interaction with an attractive one had been her busting his balls all day.

Finishing up his lunch, he threw out his trash and headed outside to smoke a cigarette, while he walked down the street checking out the local shops. He found a barbershop he should check out after work. Nobody could replace Floyd but he'd give it a shot. He checked his watch - 10 minutes left on his break - just enough time to head back to the shop.

The curly brown hair of an older man peeked over the desk as he entered the office. Andy lifted his head and shot him a smile - one so similar to Aubreys that it was almost eerie. Jax smiled back while his eyes scanned the room for her but she was no where in sight. Mixed feelings of disappointment and relief came over him in a strange sensation as he threw his coveralls back on and returning to work.

* * *

6 o'clock. Finally time to end his shift. Jax went to the locker room, changing out of his clothes and putting his blue flannel on again. He was exhausted. It had been over 5 years since he'd worked full shifts at TM and he didn't miss anything about that but now that it was passed he had to find a liqour store and a realtor. With the sun setting, it was nice enough out that he could walk along town, leaving his bike at the Maple Inn's lot, he decided that was exactly what he was going to do.

As he took the stroll, he took in each and every shop on main street. There were places from Cafe's to hair salons, libraries, convenience stores, markets. Everything in town was on this one street. His eyes landed on Burford Liquors and without realizing it, his pace quickened with a need to enter. Picking up a few different bottles, he paid the man at the counter and headed for door, satisfied knowing that it'd be a good night's sleep. He opened the door, open to bump into someone, dropping their bags to the ground.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, darlin'. "

He quickly bent down, lifting her grocery bag and picking up a few of the vegetables that had fallen out. He lifted his eyes slowly taking in the long tan legs in dark denim shorts, with slim waist under a white t shirt and long loose blonde hair hanging over her shoulders. Aubrey. Fuck this woman was a sight everytime he saw her. Never failing to have him stop and stare. She laughed as he stumbled to pick up the rest of the products before handing the bag to her, reminding him of the other day when they'd met. Maybe she was just a bitch at work and with what he'd heard from Jim, he couldn't really blame her.

"Dear god, I hope you're less clumsy at work."

She smiled at him as he stood up, towering over her 5'3 figure. The smell of motor oil and cologne creating a sweet musty mix as he took a step closer. Biting the inside of her lip she took a step back, adjusting the three bags in her hands, before looking back up at him.

"Got a dinner date tonight or something?"

His gruff voice asked. He couldn't lie and say he wouldn't be jealous if she did. Not because he was possessive but because he'd be envious of the person who got to see this side of her all the time.

"No. Andy's gettin' out of work at 8 so I'm makin' him some dinner."

She shrugged, nodding her head for them to continue walking. He reached out his arms, taking two of the three bags that she was carrying while they walked towards her car.

"Nice of you to do. You still live with him?"

"Nah, I have my own house but if I don't make him dinner after late shifts, he'll eat garbage. Can't have that with his cholesterol. "

"Andy's lucky he's got you, Aubrey."

He smiled down at her with a nod. It was cute how much she cared about him. Taking the place of her mom. Andy was a lucky man. Gemma had gotten with Clay almost immediately after JT died. No time needed to grieve. She was strong sure but her heartlessness towards situations wasn't something he'd admired. Aubrey radiated strength, not in a way Gemma or even Tara ever had. It was out of the pureness of her heart, not expecting anything in return. As they got to her car, he felt that disappointment in the pit of his stomach again, not really wanting their time to end.

"Thank you."

She smiled as she popped the back gate of her all black 4 door jeep wrangler, placing her bags inside before shutting it.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow. Please don't be late. It really messes everythin' up for me."

"I'll try my hardest."

He winked with a smile as he watched her hop in the car and take off, leaving a sweet scent of vanilla and roses lingering behind.


	3. Chapter 3

The weekend finally came and with the back and forth bantering between Jax and Aubrey, these days off were desperately need. She was driving him insane. Teller this. Teller that. He was starting to hate his own last name. Not a minute would go but without her having something to say. He was just grateful Andy would be there to lighten the tension. Who did she think she was to be talking to him like that? Even his mother knew better than to use that tone with him. It took everything in him day in and day out not to lose his shit. She was so different out of work he wished he'd seen that side of her more often but at this point her voice just made him want to kill her.

Enough about her. He had a busy day ahead of him. A couple of days ago he'd purchased a Dodge Ram that was ready to be picked up today then he had a meeting with a real estate agent Norma had recommended to look for a house. Taking one more swig of his drink, he placed the bottle on the nightstand and got up to get dressed. Throwing on a clean pair of jeans with a white t shirt, he pulled on a red flannel shirt, leaving it unbuttoned before slicking his hair back and heading outside. Jerry was supposed to drive him to the dealership. He couldn't bring himself to sell JT's bike so he needed the ride.

"Bout time you showed your face boy. Been waitin' damn near an hour."

"My fault, Jerry. You ready?"

The older man grunted as the two walked out into his truck. Jax hopped into the passenger's seat, rolling down the window to take in the warm summer wind. Leaning back in the seat, he watched Jerry's intense focus on the road. He could tell the old man was having trouble driving but he prided himself on his ability. Independance was important to Jerry and Jax could respect that.

"Norma got you meetin' with Sam later?"

"Yeah, I need to start lookin' for a place. Don't get me wrong - It's been great having breakfast and dinner every morning.."

Jerry let out a raspy laugh as he turned his aged eyes to look over the younger man.

"Miss havin' a mama takin' care'a you huh?"

"Somethin' like that."

Jax's eyes went dark as he looked out the window, the image of blood splattered roses and his mother's body on the ground came to mind again. The same image that haunted his dreams at night. He closed his eyes tightly trying his hardest to erase all thoughts but it was useless.

"You alright son?"

"Yeah..just a little car sick."

"Well hang on, we're almost there."

The rest of the car ride went by relatively silent aside from Jerry's off tune humming to the radio. They pulled into the lot where Jax was dropped off to go sign the rest of the paperwork necessary before they handed him the keys to the truck. Taking a look around it to make sure everything was cleaned and proper, he shook the guys hand before hopping in and driving off the lot.

Main street was busier than usual with it being a saturday. People were walking up and down the street, sitting outside at restaurants, at the farmer's markets. It was nice seeing a town like this. He parked the truck in an available spot and got out walking into Minnie's Cafe where Sam the relator was supposed to meet with him. He looked around to find a small redheaded woman waving at him and made his way to the table..

"You must be Jax."

She grinned, standing to shake his hand before motioning for them to sit. Jax took in her tan pantsuit with a red blouse underneath that almost matched her hair. The freckles on her cheeks noticeable against her tan skin. She was in her mid-forties. Her age only shown by the creases in her laugh lines and her eyes but other than that she looked wholesome like the rest of the women in Maple Hill. Jax's lips curved into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he shook the woman's hand before taking a seat.

"I'm Samantha Garner. Norma told me a little about what you were looking for. Single family - bedroom, kitchen and bath?"

"Sounds about right."

"Seems simple enough. I pulled up a few we can check out today if you have the time?"

"Works out for me"

He nodded as they both stood up walking out to their cars. As she took off, Jax followed her closely taking in the scenery. The cookie cutter houses, the lake, the trees still in full bloom for late in August. His eyes caught a father playing with his two boys in a large front yard and sadness came over him as his mind wandered to Abel and Thomas. This was the life they should have living had. The life they're hopefully experiencing with Wendy and Nero. Who would've thought Wendy would've been the better parent out of the two of them. She'd came around so well and he was thankful she stepped up after Tara's murder.

Tara - this was the life Tara always wanted. The life she deserved. The one she'd fought so hard for, but he was too stupid to see. Didn't want to lose his club - his family. He was so stupid. Now look where he was. The perfect little town for kids, families. If only he'd gotten his shit together all those times he'd promised her he would've but no. It was one thing after another with the club, his mother, the guns, the drugs. There was always something that "needed" him there.

The two cars pulled to a stop in front of a white house. The roof was black with black shutters and a red door. Seemed nice enough on the outside with a large back yard and we'll kept lawn. He followed Sam inside to see the rest of it. It had dark hardwood floors, tan furniture, dark wood tables. Much nicer than his old house. The bedroom was a good size as it was the only one along with the white tiled bathroom. This was the one. Quiet, big enough for him, and right by his job as well as town square.

"This is the one."

Sam stopped her explanation of the back yard and turned to look at him. His tone was decisive but the house was so small. Surely a man in his peak would want a wife, maybe kids. With a quizzical look she pressed a smile on her face.

"Wouldn't you want room for a family one day? This seems a bit small, honey. I have two others I could show you."

"No this is it." His tone leaving no room for argument.

"Well alright, I'll give the owners a call and put in your offer."

Jax shook her hand before walking out the front door towards his car. Stopping in front of the home once more to take in the home. He felt the guilt deep in his stomach. Guilt that he wasn't able to do this with his family. Starting a new one wasn't in the future for him. He could never have what he had with Tara. He could never replace his boys. He needed a fucking drink.

* * *

"Hit me again."

Jax hung his head, staring down at the empty glass while he sat at the only bar in town. With it being Saturday night, the place was busy. Not as busy as the clubhouse used to be, hell this was a lot more tame, but none of this mattered to him. He just couldn't bring himself to go back to the Inn yet. Being in a room by himself would only further immerse him in his thoughts. At least here, he'd have the distraction of shity country music, people drunk off their asses, and whiskey. So as the bartender poured him another drink, he took the first sip and stared at his distorted reflection in the glass, seeing all the wear and tear on his was all so strange to him. So hard to adjust. He'd never been alone this long. Never truly alone. He'd always had his brothers with him - whether in person or in spirit. But not this time. His club probably thought he was dead. His mother was. His wife was. His kids were somewhere far far away from any harm that he and the club had put them through, with his ex wife. And Jax had nothing. He had lost his soul. Lost his way. What kind of a man kills his own mother? What kind of grandmother kills their grandkids mother? What kind of stepfather sabotaged his best friends bike? What kind of life was he raised in?

He took a larger sip, feeling his pain dwindle in the slightest. It was too late to question any of that. He was 34 years old and had burned every bridge he'd ever crossed. Now he was just here to pass the time until his death. He had nothing to live for. No family, no life - he had become a mere shadow of the man he'd once thought he was.

"Hey Austin! Let me get a bourbon on the rocks!"

He heard a familiar voice yell out next to him. Turning his head, he caught sight of those perky blonde curls he'd grown to love just as much as loath. Aubrey. Goddamn he just couldn't escape this girl, but looking at her now - he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Jackson?"

"Hey, darlin'."

The way she said his full name. Fuck. He raised his glass to her before taking another pull as his eyes wandered down to her outfit. Damn she looked good in her light denim top tied under her chest showing off her amazing waist with the slightest hint of abs that lead down to those low cut dark denim shorts with a large dark brown belt. Her long legs glowing in the lighting of the bar of as they lead to her dark brown heeled ankle boots. She'd let her hair down. How had he failed to notice how long it was? Hanging down to the curve of her back. He licked his lips, putting his glass down again as she took a sip from hers.

"What're you doin' here? You here by yourself?"

She asked as she took a seat on the stool. He watched as she adjusted her top causing her chest to jiggle just enough that he could see the glimmer of sweat from her dancing in the crowded dancefloor.

"Yeah, needed a drink after the day I had. You?"

"Out with some friends. You should join us!"

"Nah. You go on. I'm heading out in a bit."

"Guess I'll see you at work Jax. Do not be late!"

She pointed her finger in his face playfully before placing her small hand on his arm for balance as she hopped off the barstool, grabbing her drink. Her fingertips on his skin gave him goosebumps. Like she'd lit a fire inside him. He watched as she went off, seeing her ass shaking as she walked and found himself wanting to feel her again. Even just for a moment. Shit he shouldn't be thinking about this. Not her. Not anyone. What was it about her that she could so easily get under his skin whether it was good or bad?

Several empty glasses later, Jax found himself laying his head in his arms on top of the counter, letting all his memories play out in his head. He felt a hand on his shoulder then through his hair, the gentle touch of fingertips running slowly through the strands. He looked up to see Aubrey standing next to him again and though she was blurry to him, her beautiful blue eyes were crystal clear.

"You okay? I've said your name like 6 times."

"I'm good darlin'."

He shook his head only to make the room soon faster. He felt her small arms slide under him as he stumbled in his seat. She laughed as she helped him straighten out.

"Jesus boy, you can not handle your liquor can you? Come on let's get you home."

She grabbed his arm helping him stand up of the stool. It took both hands to wrap around his bicep as she helped him stabilize. She'd be lying if she said she'd never noticed how good looking he was. The way his muscles protruded under his t-shirts, the way the sweat gleamed off his body in the shop, even when he was dirty and oil covered from working under cars all day. He was extremely attractive. His looks couldn't be compared to anyone else's - especially in this town.

As he stumbled off the stool, she threw his arm over her shoulder carrying a majority of his weight as they walked outside. Jax leaned his head over hers. The smell of shampoo, perfume, and sweat was intoxicating but he couldn't keep his eyes open for long without losing all balance. When they walked to her car, Aubrey helped him into the passengers side before buckling him in and getting in on her side.

"Jax? Jax, honey, where do you live?"

She patted his cheek gently but there was no use, he was one big lump passed out in her car. "Shit" she muttered as she started the car heading towards her own home. While driving, she would see him flinch or hear him whimper, but only for a moment before he went quiet again. She place a hand over his, stroking it gently with her thumb for comfort as she pulled into the driveway.

Aubrey helped the heavy man out of her car, carrying his dead weight on her as she got him up the front steps and into the house before letting him drop down into the couch. She watched as his body instantly moved around to get comfortable then walked over to the spare bedroom grabbing a blanket to throw over him. While tucking him in, his hand reached out and grabbed hers. It was a solid grip, one she couldn't pull away from and at first it scared her but when she saw tears falling from his tightly shut eyes she sat down on the edge of the couch rubbing his forearm with her free hand.

"I'm sorry." he cried. "I'm so so sorry."

She cocked an eyebrow placing a hand on his cheek as she soothingly shushed him. What was he sorry about? Being drunk? No. Jax didn't seem like a man who would shed a tear lightly. This man laying on her couch was one she'd never seen before. He was hurt. Broken. She felt the sorrow radiating off of him and couldn't bring herself to walk away until he had stopped. Every time she looked in his eyes she could see the darkness within. It reminded her of her father when her mom had abandoned them. This man was shattered inside.

* * *

The light shining into his eyes, woke Jax up. He fluttered his eyes as he tried adjusting to the light while he sat up but the pounding in his head told him that wasn't a great idea. Laying back down he placed his palms against his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them before he looked over onto a coffee table where a glass of water and two pills laid. Trying his best to sit up again, he leaned himself up on his elbow to grab the pills and down them with the glass of water.

Where the fuck was he? Finally managing to sit up he took a look around the room he was in. White sofas, a large wood finished coffee table, hardwood floors, a fireplace with a tv hung over the mantle. Did he go home with someone last night? No, he wouldn't have woken up on the couch. He stood up, looking across the room the the large white kitchen, before he spotted a hallway and made his way down.

Opening each door, he saw that they were vacant. What kind of person would leave a stranger in their home alone? He opened the last door and froze in his tracks as he saw a figure taking a shower through the clear shower curtain. Focusing his eyes he saw Aubrey rinsing off her long wet hair. He could see the water flowing down the curves of her naked body. The clear image of her round perky breast as drops of water dripped off her hardened nipples, wasn't one he could ever forget. He watched as her back arched into her perfect round ass and he bit his lip, feeling his pants tightening as his dick hardened.

"JAX!"

He heard her shriek before realizing that none of this was a dream. Aubrey was naked in front of him and he was just staring at her. Not that he regretted it - she looked fucking sexy - but shit.

"JAX, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! GET OUT!"

She yelled again and he quickly stepped out shutting the door behind him. Oops. He leaned back against the door, leaning his head back against it. He was in Aubrey's house. She'd been the one to take care of him last night. "Jesus Christ" He muttered, praying that he hadn't done anything embarrassing. That was the reason he didn't go to bars anymore.

Making his way back to the living room, he folded the blanket that had been thrown over him and sat back down on the couch resting his head on his hands as he leaned forward onto his knees. He hoped she wouldn't think less of him, hell he didn't think any less of her - quite the opposite actually. As he closed his eyes all he could see was her gorgeous figure all wet in the shower. How badly he wished he could've hopped in there with her, lifted her up against the wall, wrapped her legs around his waist, and had her screaming his name some more.

Shit, this was Aubrey - his boss. The woman he couldn't go a day without wanting to strangle, why the fuck did she have to look like that?


	4. Chapter 4

Did he regret not knocking? No. The view that he'd gotten was one that would forever be etched into his memory. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen but he knew she'd be mortified. Aubrey didn't seem like the type that would like her employee's to see her in that light and he was already on her shitlist.

A half hour went by and he was stuck in this awkward purgatory of whether he should stay and deal with this shit, or leave and act like it never happened. She hadn't shown her face. He'd heard one door open and another shut 15 minutes ago but not a peep since. Running his hands through his sleep ridden hair to smooth it back, he stood up just in time to see her walking into the room, full dressed much to the disappointment of the fantasies already happening in his head.

Her long blonde hair in careless waves with a loose hanging dark grey tank top, dark destroyed shorts, and a pair of cowboy boots - she looked beautiful. He instantly shook the thought from his head as he read the stern expression on her face but instead of yelling at him, she just walked past him to the kitchen to grab a drink out of the fridge. Jax waited for any sign of a confrontation but when he got nothing he stood to speak.

"Look, Aubrey, I'm sorry-"

"Lets just forget it happened, Jax. Please."

She stopped him short, taking a sip of her water bottle before placing it down on her kitchen island, resting her hands on the countertop as she looked at him.

"You feelin' okay? You could barely walk last night. I damn near had to carry you into the house."

"Uh"

He scratched the back of his head, looking down at the ground. This was not the conversation he wanted to have with her - or anyone for that matter. Unable to read her face, he shook his head, praying to god he didn't embarrass himself last night - or worse - shown a side of him that this town didn't need to see.

"Yeah... I'm really sorry about that too. I didn't do anything stupid did I?"

Aubrey thought for a moment, looking down at her bottle as she fidgeted with the label as she considered telling him about his tearful mumbling but she decided against it. Instead she pressed a smile on her face.

"Well, getting drunk alone in a bar wasn't smart. I tried asking you where you lived but you were useless."

"Lucky you got a soft spot for me, huh Beckett?"

"In your dreams, Jackson. Look - I'm havin' Sunday brunch with Andy. You're welcome to join."

Water bottle in hand, she came around the corner, grabbing her purse off of the side table by her front door as she looked at him expectantly. Every ounce of her body told her not to invite him, but after the shitshow he was last night, maybe she did have a soft spot for him. She watched as he approached her, contemplating the offer before he shrugged his shoulders,

"Mind dropping me off for a change of clothes?"

Looking over his shoulder to see the clock on her oven, she nodded her head before the two made their way outside, Jax walking behind her, admiring her shape even more now that he knew what lay underneath. Getting in the car, he buckled himself in as he watched her get adjusted before she turned to face him.

"So where am I takin' you?"

"Maple Inn."

"The Inn? Why are you staying at the inn?"

"Well I just made an offer on a house yesterday - needed a place to stay when I got into town."

Her confusion reflected on her face as she tried to understand the whole thing. So he'd just strolled into town - no house, no job, no plan? That was shady no matter how you looked at it. What was he hiding? Biting her lip, her attention returned to the empty street while she pulled threw her arm back, holding the back of his chair while looking over her shoulder to back out of the driveway. Jax didn't miss the glimpse of a yellow lace bra contrasting against her tank skin through the side of her tank but averted his eyes quickly as her arm pulled away and her attention turned back towards him.

"Where'd you say you were from again?"

"California."

"Long way from there ain'tchya?"

"Guess so. Nothing left over there for me."

"What about your family?"

"Don't got any."

The change in his tone didn't slip by her as he spoke. It was cold. Empty. Sensing a need to end that topic for the time being, she chose to change the subject. Today wasn't a day to piss him off after their shower run in.

"I've never been outta Maple Hill. Never felt the need too. Everything and everyone I've ever needed has been right here."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm?"

"Why do you call your dad Andy?"

With a small laugh, she shrugged her shoulders. "It's weird isn't it? I don't really know why. It started when I started working at the shop. I didn't want people thinking I had special privileges because I was his daughter, not like the whole town didn't know anyway but yeah we'd stick to first name basis - since then it just stuck."

Jax couldn't help but let off a smile at her explanation. Sounded a lot like her, independent from the get go. It was one thing he admired. She always held her own, especially with the men at the garage. The car pulled into the Inn's lot and he got out, surprised when she did the same.

"You go on, it's been a few weeks since I've seen Jerry and Norma. I'll be down here."

She nodded as the two walked inside, a familiar smile forming on her face as she spotted the older couple bickering at the desk. Jax watched as Norma's tired eyes lit up when she laid her eyes on Aubrey, Jerry having a more serious look on his face.

"My my, if it isn't Miss Aubrey Beckett!"

"Where you been all night son? Had us worried outta our wits! Norma was up damn near half the night."

Aubrey laughed, shooting a look over at Jax as she approached the two who had come behind the counter to greet her. He watched as they hugged, the whole interaction so warm. Genuine. That seemed to be the only word to describe everyone in this town. At first he'd thought Jerry was kidding but after hugging Aubrey he crossed his arms over his chest expecting an answer. Jax had never been accounted for anyone out of pure concern before, much less strangers but here were Jerry and Norma who waited up all night for him.

"Uh..uhm."

"Oh don't you guys give him a hard time. I invited him out with a few friends for drinks and this fella couldn't quite keep up! Crashed on my couch last night."

He looked at Aubrey, eyes wide but thankful for the assistance. A smile never leaving her lips as Jerry and Norma seemed to soften their approach. He mouthed a thank you as her eyes met his and she shot him a wink before he turned his attention to Norma.

"Well at least you were okay. Make sure to call next time!"

"Yes'mam."

"Now go on, get dressed! Andy's waiting at the diner as we speak." Aubrey broke in, hooking her thumb over her shoulder to motion towards the stairs.

* * *

They spotted the rusty blonde hair from the back of Andy's head sitting on a stool talking to one of the waitresses. Jax watched Aubrey as her eyes lit up watching Andy flirt with the woman, he place a hand on the small of her back, nudging her forward so they could walk towards him. She moved away from his hand, shooting him a warning look before she walked over to her dad, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind.

"Hey babydoll. Jax?"

"Hey Andy."

"Sorry! I forgot to tell you Jax was joining us. Ran into him running errands this morning, he hadn't eaten yet."

"Well the more the merrier!"

Andy threw his arms over the two of them, walking over the corner booth where Aubrey slide in first then Jax and Andy. It didn't feel awkward like Jax thought it would. Andy was the most good-natured man he'd ever met. Nothing was awkward with him. It was like he had this way with people - it brought out the best in them. He could see it in Aubrey too. How similar the two were. Since they only had each other, it made sense that she'd take after him. It wasn't a bad thing by any means. Hell both father figures he had weren't the greatest in life direction.

Aubrey ordered eggs with homefries and toast while Andy ordered an omelet with sausages and bacon. They had a routine about them. Neither had too look at the menu for long. He looked at his menu, every combo meal had cheesy southern themed names that he couldn't help by smile at. He came to order the same as Andy just to keep from laughing if he read one more name. Joyce, the older waitress, took their order already knowing what the father-daughter combo was going to get.

"How you likin' Maple Hill?"

"It's a lot different than Charming. I'll tell you that."

"How so?"

"People weren't as friendly to strangers."

"We're all happy you came. Its good seeing a new faces becoming part of this community. You're a good kid - you'll always have a place here, son."

Jax found himself looking into Andy's eyes. His words so so heartfelt and sincere that he didn't know how to react. He was touched but to a fault. He'd always thought he'd have a place in Charming. In many ways he did, but the memories that haunt him would keep him from ever returning. Maple Hill was surely becoming home to him. He was closing on a house, he had a job, hell he'd even met people that seemed to care about him. He'd never had anyone account for him like Norma and Jerry, or anyone welcome him with open arms like Andy and Jim. This could work out - so far it had.

Brunch went on longer than planned. Andy was like an open book, they'd talked about everything from when Aubrey was born, to when his wife left him. It wasn't something easy to talk about but he'd gotten to a point where he'd accepted and moved on - leaving Jax to wonder if he'd ever reach that point. He related to the older man's depression when his wife left him. He'd gone through it when Tara had left for college. People said it was puppy love but up until the recent events - it was the most heart wrenching pain he'd ever felt. Of course - Andy had gotten over his wife and he had a beautiful daughter to help him get through it, but Jax's life had ended in a much darker way.

Aubrey had been the most talkative he'd ever seen her. She was laughing and smiling with her dad's stories as they reminisced. He'd gotten to know her so much more in these last two days than in the two weeks that he'd been in town. He could see what Jim was saying about her looking after Andy. She'd take away the salt from him if he tried to put too much on his food. She'd fix the collar of his shirt. She'd make sure he didn't use too much sugar in his coffee. Andy was a man that needed a woman by his side or he'd fall off the wagon. When his wife left, Aubrey had stepped up to the plate. In a twisted way it reminded him of his relationship with Gemma. After Thomas and JT died, he had stepped in to fill that void in Gemma's life. He often wondered if that was the worst mistake of his life. She had threatened and scared away almost every woman in Jax's life. Except for Tara. No. Tara stuck around - tried to warn him even - and what did Gemma do? Kill her. Looking at the easy going man in front of him, he knew that would never be him. Hell, it wasn't most people. Just the people in the fucked up life he was given.

Jax got news from the realtor during brunch that the owners had accepted his offer on the house. He'd told Andy and Aubrey the news and they seemed to be more excited then him. When he told people he was here to settle down they assumed he meant getting married and having kids but at 34 he'd already done that. He'd been married twice, had two kids, now this was him moving on - giving those who survived his destructive ways a chance to thrive in their own lives. Buying this house wasn't anything to celebrate. It didn't stand for a joyous time in his life. It was quite the opposite. It marked the loneliness he would soon allow to consume him. One bedroom. One bathroom. One life. The bustling sounds of Tara and the boys would no longer echo in the walls. The silence that had fallen over his life wouldn't be welcomed but it needed to be accepted.

The two offered to check out the house with him. Andy was extremely handy and with the renovations Jax planned on doing, his opinions were necessary. As they walked through each room, Jax told them about the changes he wanted to make. The projects weren't crucial by any means, they were meant to keep his hands busy. To dull the voices in his head when a bottle of liquor wasn't doing the trick. Andy gave him advice, even offering to help with the renovations but Jax just stared at him, unable to get words out.

"You okay boy?"

"Yeah." He quickly snapped out of it. "Just not used to people being this helpful."

"We're all neighbors here son, who's going to help us if we don't help each other?"

Jax chuckled in agreement."I've never been friends with my neighbors."

" 'Round here - friends and neighbors are the same thing."

Andy winked at the man before stepping out through the back door to the large back yard. As Jax went to follow his eyes caught a glimpse of blonde with a halo like glow around her as she stood in front of the sun lit window watching her father out back. Sliding his hands in his front pockets he approached her slowly not to startle her from thought.

"How are you liking the house?"

"Why only one room?" She asked blatantly.

"I'm only one guy." he answered as obviously as he could.

Her cocked eyebrows told him she wasn't buying it but that was what he was sticking with. It was just him. Just what he needed. Jax shrugged his shoulders as she turned her head to look at her father again. He watched as she looked at him intently. A sadness in her eyes he often saw when she was looking at him.

"You worry about him, don't you?" He stepped closer to her, gauging her reaction. Aubrey nodded her head, her eyes following Andy's every move as he checked the plants out back. "Why?"

Her eyes lifted to look up at him as her shoulders moved in a defeated shrug before returning her gaze to the window. "I just feel bad. He deserved something more in life - someone with as good of a heart as him."

"That's why he's got you ain't it?"

"It's different, Jax. Everyone deserves someone to grow old with."

His words hit her harder than she'd ever know. He had that person. His job was to defend her with his life. He recalled the first time he'd laid his eyes on her, sitting behind her in math class their freshman year of high school. She was so beautiful, so smart, always raising her hand and she was always right. He replayed their first date, their first kiss, their marriage vows. Through everything, the good - the bad, they'd clung together. Then when she needed him the most - he was no where to be found. Tara never got that chance to grow old. To see her boys grow like Andy got to watch Aubrey. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve anyone.

* * *

Andy hadn't let up. By the end of the night they ended up having a barbecue at his house. Aubrey had set up the table, seasoned the meat and the two men had grilled everything while having a few beers. It took all of Jax's will not to keep drinking - that and Aubrey's watchful eye. It was interesting to see how comfortable she was while cooking and cleaning. Tara never cleaned up, though he never blamed her. She was basically a single mother of two boys since he was never around. It was strange being here. Eye-opening. Little by little he was realizing all of the faults from his previous life.

Aubrey had offered to drop him off at the Inn late in the night. He hadn't had his truck all day since being with the two. They said their goodbyes to Andy before getting in Aubrey's Wrangler and pulling out of the driveway. The sound of slow country songs filled the car on the drive. Aubrey humming along softly with her eyes on the road.

"Thanks.. for today." His deep voice cutting through the stillness between them.

"No- no. It was good getting to know more about you, even though you're pretty hush hush 'bout yourself."

"Not much to really say."

"I doubt that."

"Don't. There's nothing about me you'd want to know."

She turned to look at him but he wouldn't face her. His strong facial features more prominent through the dim lit car. He looked strained. She saw the same sadness in him as in Andy. There was so much more to him than he'd ever be willing to share. She placed a hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze, catching his attention.

"You shouldn't think that way."

Almost instinctively, he placed his hand over hers, his thumb brushing the smooth skin over her knuckles. If only she knew - if any of them knew - he doubted they'd be as welcoming as they had been. It didn't matter anyway. The person he was died back in Charming with his mother and his wife. The man he was now was nobody. No family, no history, no past. He was just Jax, the new mechanic. He looked over at her with a soft smile.

"You're a good woman, Aubrey."

She watched his hand cover hers. It was rough - unfinished - it suited him. It was warm to the touch, her knuckles feeling like they were on fire as his thumb brushed over them. Biting the corner of her bottom lip, she pulled her hand away from his. The contact had lasted too long but when it was gone she felt a longing need to feel it again but she knew better. She hated the way he spoke about himself - or more so how he wouldn't speak about himself. She couldn't read him. Why he was so dark, almost self loathing. Everyone they met seemed to love him but he was essentially a stranger - deliberately keeping himself that way.

"I think you're a lot better than you give yourself credit for, Jax."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this took so long guys! I started writing a Julian Edelman fanfic for the hell of it. This site doesn't have anywhere to post it so I'm not sure what I'll end up doing with the story but I've been itching to write it so I'm working on the first few chapters. **

**Let me know what you think of Chapter 5!**

* * *

_The sky was dark. Grey - ridden with clouds. The leaves on trees fluttering left and right vigorously with the wind. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise while goosebumps overtook his skin as he looked over the field full of unmarked graves dug in the dirt.. A breeze blew loose wisps of hair into his eyes, moving it behind his ears, he spotted Abel and Thomas sitting next to one in particular. The only one with a tombstone. Thomas played with the dirt while Abel looked out at the graves with eyes full of sadness and confusion. Jax slowly stepped closer, his eyes focusing in on the words etched into the headstone. Tara Grace Knowles - Devoted Wife &amp; Mother. He turned to Abel whose eyes were still staring out at the countless mounds of dirt. The young boy turned to him, his finger pointing out at the field._

"_Was this you daddy?"_

His eyes flickered open, slowly and reluctantly. Tears welled up, sliding down the sides of his face. Jax stared blankly at ceiling trying to get the images out of his head. Grabbing the bottle on his nightstand he took a large swig before sitting up slowly. He glanced at the clock, already an hour late but it didn't make him move any faster. With each blink, his nightmare replayed in his head. Thomas's face tear stricken. Abel's full of fear. He'd made the right choice letting them go with Nero and Wendy. Who would've thought the two ex junkies would've been better for the boys?

He dragged himself out of bed to throw on his jeans and a t-shirt, before heading out the door. He knew Aubrey would rip him a new one, but all he could do was pray for mercy. He was reaching his breaking point with her, though it was all out of habit. He knew he was always late. He knew he constantly fucked up. But he hadn't had a real job. Gemma was his boss when he worked at TM and he could do whatever he wanted. All this scolding was getting to the highest point on his nerves.

"Teller!"

He heard her irate voice yell from across the lot as soon as his truck pulled in. He pulled into a parking spot and laid his head onto the steering wheel, banging it a few times as he let out a heavy sigh. Guess mercy was out of the question. He stepped out of the truck to see her near the building door, hands on her small hips, her eyes focused in on her target - a look so sharp, so stern, it reminded him instantly of Gemma.

"My office, now!"

She walked back inside and he followed, slowly. The more he could prolong this chat the more he could prolong the worsening of his already pounding headache. He made his way in and she shut the door behind them, crossing her arms over her chest. Stepping closer, her nose scrunched as she sniffed him.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No." He lied.

" So help me god, Teller, if I find out you drink before work ..."

"Knock knock" Andy gave a knock on the door before stepping in and Jax took a sigh of relief. Aubrey was always softer when Andy was around. Maybe God didn't hate him after all. Andy took a seat at his desk, waiting intently for Aubrey to go on.

"I don't know what to do with you, Jackson! I schedule you for the early shifts- you're late. I move you to the late shifts - you're even later! This isn't okay. It's sloppy and unprofessional. If this happens again, you're out of here. Get changed and get to work. You'll be stayin' late tonight."

Both men watched as she left the room, turning to look at eachother. Jax winced at being called Jackson. He'd rarely ever been called that and it was usually only by his mother. Andy gave him a nonchalant shrug and smile before standing up to pat him on the shoulder. It could've gone worse. Who knows what would've gone down if she'd continued on about his drinking. She was just lucky that southern accent of her's made it a pleasure to listen to. Andy's interruption had been a life saver and the man knew that. Walking around the desk, he threw an arm over Jax's shoulder as they walked out the door.

"Looks like you got a long night ahead of you, boy."

"Tell me about it.."

The two spread out after getting to work. Jax slipped on his work coveralls and went to work with Jim. Regardless of how he'd continuously shown that he knew his way around cars, Aubrey insisted he was a loose cannon and had Jim keep eyes on him. He looked across the pavement to see her talking to a customer. The steel look on her face that he's gotten so accustomed to, had disappeared - replaced by that mesmerizing smile that was seldom thrown his his direction. He envied those people. The ones who often got this side of Aubrey. He'd been on the receiving end a few scattered times like the weekend that had passed, but it was rare that she'd act that way at work.

The rough cough of the older man clearing his throat turned Jax's attention. He saw Jim struggling to tighten a bolt and kneeled down to help. He had a long day ahead of him. Aubrey planned on keeping him in most of the night to clean up like she did every time he was late. He might as well be productive.

* * *

The break room was empty by the time Aubrey let Jax take lunch. She had a way of being cruel with her punishments. It wasn't straight up writing a warning or firing people. She would make sure they were the last lunch break or she'd have them stay past close to mop and clean the office area, organize the work stations, etc. He was starving but she was only giving him a half hour to make up for his lost time so he didn't even have a chance to grab something from the cafe like he usually did.

He looked through the vending machine, his eyes scrolling through the chips and chocolate, he'd have one of everything if he could but the thought made him nauseous, instead he made the safe choice of plain potato chips and a bottle of water. He sat down to eat and looked out the window looking into a small part of the work area. Everyone was keeping busy, he assumed they'd already learned their lesson about messing with Aubrey.

"There you are!"

Andy's voice came through the door as the large man entered the room. He took a seat next to Jax, placing a brown paper bag onto the table and pushing it over to him. Jax smiled with confusion as he looked at the bag then at his boss.

"What's this?"

"I got you lunch. Jenny said this was your usual."

His eyes widened as did his smile. He had literally gone out of his way to get him lunch. He opened the bag to see his all american burger with a side of fries. Jenny was usually the one who waited on him but with the amount of customers she had daily, it amazed him that she remembered, though not as much as it amazed him that Andy had gone out to get him food. He pushed his chips aside and pulled the burger out of the wrapping paper before giving Andy a grateful smile.

"Damn, you didn't have to do that."

"Nonsense, you know she'll be working you to the bone tonight. Eat up while you can."

Jax laughed before taking a bite of his burger. Couldn't argue with that logic. Aubrey was in one hell of a mood today and the last thing he needed was to pass out while working. He needed this job, especially after buying a home out here. Since this was the only auto body shop in Maple Hill, he'd have to play nice.

"Is she always going to be this way?"

"Not if you start coming in on time." The older man laughed.

"Does it bother you as much as it does her?"

"I see something in you, son. If you hadn't already noticed. Misery. Grief. It shows in your eyes with every breath you take. Its the same look I'd see in myself every time i crossed a mirror when Anna left. Now, I ain't gonna force you to talk about anything. But in the state i was in - i needed people to take it easy on me. And that's what I'm doing for you. Aubrey's the opposite. Hard as a rock. She puts on a brave face and deals with things head on. No moping, no crying. Men like us - we need that. Someone to who's going to kick our asses back in shape. Aubrey sees it in you too. But she's handling it the only way she knows how."

Jax blinked slowly, unable to move as he heard his words. Was he that obvious? So far he'd been proud of how he was handling himself but now he wondered who else could see. He knew he could relate to Andy but for him to so openly see through him only scared him. He lowered his eyes, staring at his food unsure of what to say but he was grateful Andy wasn't looking for any sort of explanation. Apparently neither was Aubrey. Had they talked about him? Probably. Seeing as Aubrey was continuously on the verge of firing him. Yet it gave him comfort to think she was so hard on him because she cared.

He'd always thought he was independant - a leader - and in many ways he was. To the club. To his family. He demanded respect from anyone he came across. After losing both Tara and Gemma, he realized that Andy was right. He was the type of man to need a woman. Someone to be his rock at the end of the day. To listen and to guide him. Now that he was missing that rock - his life was meaningless. No direction. No purpose. In many ways he envied Andy's relationship with Aubrey. He had a second chance. But Andy deserved it. Jax didn't.

"There's that look again." The older man interrupted his thoughts.

"I just - I'm - I -"

"it's alright now. Whenever and if ever you're ready to talk, I'm here to listen. Eat up - It'll be one hell of a long night for you."

Andy stood, patting Jax on the back and leaving him with his thoughts. There was so much more to that man than people have him credit for. He was good at reading people. Read Jax like a book. But as close as he was getting with Andy, the thought of ever speaking to an outsider about the monstrosity of the club made him sick to his stomach.

* * *

Closing time came and everyone was heading home, all of them giving Jax a pat on the back as they left. He'd gotten pretty comfortable around them. A few off then reminding him of the characters back home. Personality wise, these men were similar to his brothers - only difference was that they hadn't taken lives. They wholesome guys. All ranging between the ages of 20 to the oldest one being 70. Most had families. Others had long time girlfriends. Jax was one of the only single men. They'd joke about taking him out on the town, finding him a nice southern girl. He'd laugh along but he'd always change the subject. It didn't interest him at all.

"Jax, make sure the front gate is locked. "

He heard Aubrey say from behind the front desk. Her voice was softer than earlier today. She was tired but still kept busy. Organizing the paperwork for the next day. He did as he was told, hopefully she'd let him out for good behavior - just like prison. He walked slowly, lighting a cigarette on the way. Silently praying she'd stay busy enough to let him smoke it peacefully.

The night was warm with the dark sky clear of any clouds. He could see all the stars. How bright they were shining. He'd never had the chance to stop and just look at them. Tara would always tell him to take a minute each day and just look around. Not out of paranoia or fear, out of pure curiosity of the life surrounding him. The stars were her favorite thing, ever since she was in high school. He'd never bothered to pay them any mind then but he could see now why she loved the night sky so much.

"Beautiful ain't it?"

He looked down to see Aubrey next to him, and folded over her chest as she looked up with the same admiration as him. He could see the sky mirrored in her blue eyes. The stars were glimmering within them. He took a pull from his cigarette, keeping his eyes locked on her and nodded.

"Sure is."

She lowered her gaze to see him looking at her, his eyes staring into her. Staring right through her. It wasn't a look she'd seen thrown her way before. She'd had her fair share of men hitting on her, working at the garage made it an everyday occurrence but his stare was different. He wasn't looking at her chest or her ass, he was looking at her. She bit her lip softly, staring down at the ground before clearing her throat.

"Get back to work, Jackson."

She looked at him one last time before turning her back to walk inside.


	6. Chapter 6

SO SO SO sorry I fell off for a little bit, I've had extended family over for the last month and it's been so difficult to get motivated and write with so many people in the house.

Anyway, I'm sorry! I hope you enjoy it. I'll be working on the next chapter for Poetic Justice as well and try to get that up this week.

Let me know what you think!

* * *

"Hey Jerry"

"Hey little Beckett"

The older man approached the front desk as Jax walked in to hand Aubrey the keys to a car he'd just finished working on. He placed the keys on the counter, labeling them with the person's last name before turning his attention to Jerry.

"What's going on Jerry?"

"Ay boy, just need maintenance done.."

"Jax'll be happy to take care of that for you."

Aubrey pitched in, nodding her head over at Jax as he held his hand out for the keys. Jerry handed them over, giving Jax a grateful head nod as he walked towards the garage before calling him back.

"Oh, Jax. Norma's got lunch for you in the passengers side."

Jax turned his attention back towards the two. His face breaking out into a smile at their generosity. He nodded at Jerry, yelling a thank you before continuing. The old man looked over at Aubrey again, nodding her head towards Jax.

"How's he doin'?"

She shrugged her shoulders, heaving a heavy sigh before leaning forward onto her elbows across the countertop. Her worry for him mirrored in Jerry's face.

"I don't know. He's good while on the clock, it's everything else that worries me."

"Yeah, I getcha. He ain't much of a talker neither. Gets outta work and starts working on his new house. Won't come in till 3 in the mornin' and buries himself in liquor till he knocks himself out."

"That bad huh?"

"Something's killin' that boy from the inside out."

She leaned forward to peek through the window facing the garage where he was working on Jerry's tire. His face worn down and tired, his blue eyes more dim than usual. She nodded her head before turning her attention back towards Jerry's voice.

"You know who he reminds me of?"

"Who?"

"Your father."

"Andy? How?"

"You know how. That man would've ended his life years ago if it wasn't for you pulling him through. You think you can do the same for him?"

"Jackson, ain't my problem, Jerry."

"You might wanna make it your problem."

"Why?"

"Because you're a good girl Aubrey. You're there for all your friends and family - Jax may be new, but he's part of that circle."

Sighing, she looked through the glass again to see his bright blonde hair peeking through the cars. She couldn't deny the look in his eyes reminded her of Andy's but Jax's were much much darker. There was more in there than just a love that left him. Biting the inside of her cheek, she laced her fingers, wringing them restlessly as she watched him work.

"Jax."

He heard Aubrey's voice from behind him. He turned to see her approaching, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as he leaned against his truck smoking a cigarette. He blew out the smoke as he nodded his head towards her. His body ached, he was far from any mood to deal with her shit but the look in her eyes wasn't one of confrontation.

"Where you heading?"

"Stopping by the new place for a little before heading to the Inn."

"I'll uh - follow you there."

His eyebrow lifted, tilting his head slightly as his confused eyes focused on hers. "Why?"

"I want to see what's been keeping my employee to tired to get here on time."

She watched his eyes roll at her tone before catching herself. This wasn't about starting a fight. The two of them could go at it for hours, both holding a mean grudge, but this was about peace. This man had come into their town and melted the hearts of everyone he came in contact with, there had to be something good about him. Aubrey took a deep breath, shrugging her shoulders lightly before returning her eyes to meet his.

"No, uhm, Andy said he'd been helping out. Said it was coming out great."

Jax watched her, you could almost see her thought process through her face. He watched as her eyes searched for the right words to say before finally speaking up. He smirked at the hint of nervousness coming off of her. There was an end game here that he couldn't quite place his finger on. Whatever it was, maybe he'd get a more laid back version of her tonight than he was used to.

"You wanna follow me there?"

"Lead the way, Teller."

The road to the house was dark, minimal street lights and almost no cars to light to way. His eyes locked on the rear view for most of the ride, making sure she behind him, but then again she probably knew the way better than he did. Maple Hill was in no way a dangerous place, but his life in Charming had him accustomed to watching his back at any given time. With Aubrey behind him, his senses were heightened. He felt the need to protect her. Though being Andy's daughter, he had no doubt she could handle herself.

Not long after, the two pulled into his driveway. Jax stepped out, making his way over to aubrey's car so he could open the door for her. She smiled gratefully at him as she grabbed her purse and headed inside. The vibe was different between them. Not hostile like it was at work - no - this was calming - like the few times he'd gotten to see her outside of the shop. This was the side of her he envied others for.

Inside was a wreak. Drywall pieces laid onto the floor from walls broken down. Tools and equipment in various places, scattered throughout the room. Her eyes moved slowly, taking in the mess surrounding them. She didn't see a mess though, she saw the dedication in his work. The raw desire to burn everything from his thoughts and focus solely on this one thing. There were marks on walls where he'd started working and changed his mind midway she could see why he'd been spending so much time with Andy. He was patient. He was understanding. Andy would stand by countless hours doing and redoing something because he understood it was more therapeutic than anything else.

Jax watched her eyes, her thoughts shining through them. He watched as they would fixate on the mishaps before softening and turning to another place. It was the same look as her father's. His nights spent working late with Andy had been ones he treasured. Andy didn't expect him to talk. In fact, he would do the talking for him. Telling him about his wife, his hurt, how he overcame it all. It was soothing and distracting. Though it seemed the older man might have thought they were on the same page with losing a loved one. They weren't. Having your wife murdered and killing your mother for revenge wasn't remotely the same as a wife who'd abandoned her family, but nonetheless his talks were appreciated. He could see the understanding in Aubrey's eyes as well, but she usually covered it up quickly.

"It's a mess right now but -"

"No," she cut him off, turning her body to face him. "It's looking great."

Her smile put him at ease. He cleared his throat before motioning his head towards the kitchen.

"You want a beer?"

"Of course you two would keep a stocked fridge."

She smiled again as he returned the gesture, heading towards the kitchen. She made her way down the hallway to the bedroom, completely untouched, just used for storage so far. The room was small, much like the house, but she couldn't see him seriously happy here. It was secluded and lonely. This would only dig him into a deeper depression than he was already in.

"Yeah, I haven't made my way down here yet."

His voice slightly startled her while she focused on taking in her room. She felt the comforting warmth that radiated off his body and turned around, with a small smile on her face accepting the bottle from him before taking a sip. The smell of his cologne coming through the oil and musk from working in the garage. She found herself liking the feeling of his body close to her and quickly took a step back.

"Are you doing a lot in here?"

"I might make it bigger, blowout that left wall and move it further into the dining room space."

"Sounds like a plan. What's Andy been working on?"

"Oh he's doing the kitchen."

Jax nodded his head towards the other end of the hallway, leading her down the way. The kitchen was white, walls full of scratches and scuff marks. The tile floor had been pulled off leaving the wood below exposed, the sets of cabinets they had bought were still in boxes in the corner outside the door. He watched her face take in the room before taking a pull from her bottle.

"What are you going to do to the floor?"

"New tile, I haven't decided what I want yet."

"How long is all of this going to take? Seems like a lot of work."

"Might take a few months. Should be done by December."

She raised her eyebrow, looking around the place again at all the unfinished projects. There was more to this. There had to be. Someone who really wanted to get this done would've finished it a while ago. Biting her lip, her fingers picked at the loose logo paper on the bottle.

"You got any plans for the holidays?"

His eyes grew dark momentarily before he turned his head away, taking a large breath in before exhaling.

"Uh, no. Just going to get settled into this place."

"Oh come on, I bet your family will want to see you. Don't you want to invite them over?"

"I don't have a family, Aubrey. They're all.. uh... "

"Shit! I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's fine.. I thought Andy had told you."

She smiled softly, her cheeks already red from embarrassment as she looked at the ground.

"Nah, he's pretty good about employer - employee confidentiality."

"Good to know."

She could sense the sadness now coming off of him. Immediately regretting saying anything. Her fingers once again picking at the loose corner of the paper, maintaining the silence, unsure of what was really left to say.

"Come on, you should check out the back yard."

He placed his hand on the small of her back, motioning her towards the back door leading outside. Grateful of the change in subject, she nodded, walking out the door. His hand on her back felt nice. Stable. The heat from his palm warming her whole body from the inside out. She couldn't rationalize why she liked it so much.

His fingertips brushed against the soft cotton of her shirt, gripping it slightly before letting go as she walked down the steps to the yard. The area had been fenced with a white picket fence, lights hung from the large tree in the corner lighting the entire yard. He could see her smile, as the twinkle of the lights illuminated her eyes. His lips curved into a small smirk as she looked at him, smiling back softly.

"The lights had to be Andy, right?"

"He may have mentioned you like them."

Aubrey laughed, lowly but enough for him to know she liked the gesture. He took a pull from his bottle as he watched her walk around, examining the work of the fence before looking up at the tree. She seemed so small next to it, only bringing another rare smile to his face.

"You're doing a great job here, Jax."

"I like to think so."

"I should get going, but I'll swing by again - maybe I'll come by with Andy next time he's helping."

His eyes lowered to the ground, not wanting her to go but desperately needing some alone time. He nodded, the promise of her coming by more only giving him something to look forward to. His hand returned to her back, walking with her to the front, opening her car door for her as they stood in the driveway.

She leaned her back against the car, her arms crossed over her chest as her eyes wandered the house once more before returning to his. Those beautiful blues focused intently on her. The weight of his stare bringing a blush to her cheeks.

"Listen, Jax..." She placed a hand on his arm, his biceps feeling much harder than she'd imagined. "I want you to know that even you're not alone. Not here. You have a family here. Norma, Jerry, Jim, Andy - " she took a deep breath, " and even me. We all care about you. We all worry about you. I just want you to know..whatever it is you need - you always have someone to go to."

His skin felt on fire under the touch of her silk like fingers. His eyes shifting between her eyes and the words leaving her lips. He felt a sting in his eyes as they started to fill with tears. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't pull his eyes away from hers. The sincerity in her tone, in her eyes, only breaking him down further.

Unable to stop himself, his hands reached out, cupping her face in them. His thumbs brushed against the soft skin of her cheeks as his lips met hers. They were warm and tasted sweet, like the balm she was always putting on them. He felt her hesitate for a moment before pressing back against him. Her small hands grabbed his shirt, pulling his body closer to hers as he pressed her back against the side of the car. He hadn't felt comfort like hers in a long time. To long. He needed to hear that he still had someone. Had a family. He needed to feel the words that left her. Needed to believe they were true as undeserving as he was.

Her breath hitched beneath him as he felt a soft push of her hands on his chest. Her fingertips grazing her lips as she stared at the ground, regaining her composure. He bit his lip watching her, she looked so innocent yet undoubtedly sexy. Her eyes met his and he couldn't breath. Her heavy glare looking right through him. He couldn't read it if he tried. For the first time in a while he felt nervous. Then she smiled. It was a shy smile, not one he'd ever seen from her, but he liked it and he couldn't stop his own smile from coming through.

"See you in the morning."

Aubrey breathed out slowly, her eyes not leaving his as he opened the door to her, helping her to climb in. She cleared her throat, fully aware of his eyes watching her every movement before he finally broke the silence.

"Have a goodnight, Aubrey."

"Goodnight, Jackson."

He watched as she pulled out the driveway, her eyes meeting his through her rearview. What had he just done?


	7. Chapter 7

Pulling into Beckett auto repair, Aubrey was surprised to see a familiar black pick up truck parked in the lot. After parking the car in her usual spot, she walked inside the building to see the door to the locker rooms. Her curiosity got the best of her as she made her way through the rows of lockers to see Jax, shirtless, washing his face by the sinks.

The view was magnificent. You could see all the muscles of his well built body working and moving in unison as he moved to dry of his face with a paper towel. She bit her lip while she leaned against the wall, and folded over her chest. This was so inappropriate but she couldn't stop, just like the kiss the other night. He turned around to reach for more paper towels and she noticed the giant reaper tattoo covering a majority of his back. "Sons of Anarchy" written over the top. "California" written across the bottom.

"Liking the view?"

He asked with an all knowing smirk. She laughed lowly as she lowered her eyes to the ground. Shit. Caught red handed. Feeling the heat rising to her cheeks, she cleared her throat before looking back up at him.

"You're here early."

Quickly changing the subject, Aubrey stood up straighter. Averting her eyes from his body and trying to keep his focus on his face. Whenever they got a moment alone, she was more and more drawn to him but she couldn't figure out why. He was troubled but the mysterious bad boy vibe that came off of him kept her coming back for more. When she wasn't on the clock of course.

"After so many warnings, I figured I owed it to you."

Jax stepped closer to her, his body heat practically radiating against her, while he reached down on the bench next to her to grab his t-shirt. Pulling it slowly over his head, he knew exactly what he was doing. She could see his eyes watching her the whole time, glimmering with pride at the effect he had on people. He wasn't blind to the way he turned heads, but he also never seemed to care.. That was until now.

There was something different in his eyes today. Like he'd finally woken up on the right side of the bed. It was interest. He was actually showing interest. Something she had yet to see in the weeks he'd been in town. It actually brought a smile to her face, knowing that he would finally be having a good day.

"Well I appreciate that."

"Anything for you, darlin'. Hey, you like donuts? I got some for you. "

Taken aback by the gesture, Aubrey's face scrunched in confusion as she wondered if she heard him correctly. Donuts for her?

"Well,for you and Andy. You've been so great about everything. Least I could do. "

"You really didn't have to Teller, but thank you. I appreciate that. Don't think this gets you off the hook though."

"Wouldn't dream of it, boss."

* * *

Jax didn't know why he woke up in the mood he did. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't drank that night, or that he was starting to feel like a new man. Like it was a new day that he could actually start a new chapter of his life. After a morning shower and some breakfast from Norma, he was out the door and ready for work - even stopping along the way to get donuts for Andy and Aubrey for all they'd done for him.

While getting ready in the locker rooms, he heard someone enter and he wasn't surprised to see Aubrey. He knew she was a first in last out type of person, but what did grab his attention was how flustered she was when he'd caught her staring. It felt good knowing his body was holding up well with all the abuse he'd been causing it, and to make a girl like Aubrey blush at the mention felt pretty damn good. She was cute when she blushed. Different from her normally harsh exterior. Her smile was childlike and pure. Innocent. With the rose color of her cheeks, it was the most beautiful thing he'd laid eyes on.

She was quick to leave after he'd mentioned donuts, but he doubted she was going for the snacks. Her eyes had strained trying to focus on his face rather than his abs and that was something he could work with. Who knew, maybe they could keep a civil thing going after all.

He'd put his shirt back on and his work coverall and followed upstairs shortly after her to work on a car him and Jim couldn't quite finish yesterday. As knowledgeable as they both were with cars, finding the problem just seemed impossible, but it gave him something to keep his focus on for most of the day. He liked longstanding projects. It kept his mind from wandering to the deep dark thoughts that only hard liquor could mask. Working on cars gave him the release he needed. Who knew?

"Having trouble?"

He heard the sweet sound of her voice from the other side of the car. Pulling out from under the hood his eyes took her in again. There was a spark in her eye that was never there for him. It was one of those things only others got the pleasure of seeing but this time, it was for him. All for him. He could get used to alone time with her. It was actually enjoyable. He chuckled lowly as his hand ran through his hair, combing it back.

"Yeah, can't seem to figure out what the problem is."

"Jim was telling me about this one yesterday, did you try replacing the Oxygen sensors?"

Jax raised an eyebrow. He didn't know why he was surprised by her own understanding of cars seeing as she was raised around it - but still, he was amazed. Of course Andy's daughter would know a thing of two. He wouldn't be shocked if Aubrey knew how to survive an apocalypse, but damn, why hadn't he thought of the O2 sensor.

"No, but that's probably all that needs to be done. Thanks."

He smiled. Her perfectly straight teeth flashed again and he could feel himself blushing this time. He didn't know what it was but he was liking this feeling. Aubrey moved closer to him to take another look and despite the smell of metal and grease that usually filled the garage, her sweet smelling perfume completely took over. He watched her start to investigate on her own, not a care in the world if her clothes for the day were getting dirty. It was impressive, she was clean and precise. He had to admit it was the sexiest thing in the world. With his arms folded over his chest, he leaned back against one of the metal carts holding the tools and watched, chewing on his bottom lip to keep from smiling any more than he already was. At that point, he was starting to feel like a creep.

"That should do it."

Aubrey scooted out from under the car and brushed her hands along her shorts. She softly huffed out a breath to blow her bangs out of her face as she readjusted her clothing. Spotting a bit of grease on her cheek, Jax took a step closer, his thumb brushing gently along it to wipe the smudge off of her face. He could see her hesitate for a moment before she realized what he was doing, but her eyes never left his. It was a wonder he could feel anything with his rough calloused hands, but the feel of her silk like skin was something he was glad he hadn't missed. As his eyes met hers, she quickly took a step back and smiled nervously while moving her hair back behind her ear. It was a habit she had whenever she was nervous or uncomfortable.

"So, uh.. guess that frees you up to work on something else for the day. Jim should be happy about that."

"Hey Aub, I like Jim and all - but don't you think I could start workin' on things myself? I mean shouldn't my probation period be over by now?" As the words left his mouth, he instantly regretted it. A switch flipped and she was right back to being his boss. Shit. She laughed. It was a bitter laugh. A sarcastic one.

"It's gonna take a lot more than one early day and some donuts before your probation period is over Teller. At least with Jim, I know you'll be working your ass off. "

And then she was gone. Taking one last look at him over her shoulder before shutting the door to the office. With the lot soon filling in with the rest of the employees, it was be nearly impossible to get her alone again, but then again why would he want to? He had an overwhelming desire to go in there and talk to her for hours. She was actually smart, caring, funny. He hadn't given a rat's ass about anyone in months and now he wanted to buy her donuts and play nice?

* * *

The heat of midday South Carolina was excruciating. The minimal AC in the garage barely making a difference, but it was packed. Jax couldn't wrap his head around how with a town so small, so many cars were always in need of service. Maybe it was the fact that most of the cars were at least 5 years old. Maybe nobody ever needed to buy a new car because they always kept up with the maintenance. Either way, what he really missed was working on bikes. That was the one downfall of this town. Nobody in or around had one. It was depressing really. His passion for riding was his whole purpose in life at one point. It defined who he was. Now he was itching to get his hands on one but it would just be another reminder to his devastating past failures.

"Teller! Time for your break." Aubrey called out from the doorway to the office, her focus still on the paperwork in her hand, not bothering to look up before she went back inside.

"Don't seem like she's in the greatest of moods today." Jim huffed from behind him as the younger man stood to wipe his hands on a rag.

"Seemed fine this morning," Jax returned with a shrug.

"Lot can change in a few hours. Better get goin' before she calls out again."

With another careless shrug, Jax made his way out of the garage and headed towards the locker room. Have a sandwich or a pizza was all that was on his mind besides water. LOTS and Lots of cold water just to beat this heat, but when walking past the closed doors of Andy's office - Aubrey could be heard having a very hostile argument. Everyone of the employees were accounted for today and Andy wasn't in so Jax could only assume she was on the phone, which was soon confirmed after he heard her slamming it shut.

The last thing he wanted to do was seem like he was snooping around so he continued on his way down the stairs to change out of his overalls and wash up to grab some food. He knew first hand how much could change in just a few hours. One minute he was happily making love to his beautiful wife who he was going to send off to live a great life with his boys - the next minute she was lying dead on the floor in a pool of her blood. One minute he was being consoled by his mother over the loss - the next minute he found out she was responsible. He knew her situation couldn't be as bad as his - hell nobody's seemed to be - but that didn't mean she didn't have a right to be stressed or upset. His situation was extreme. It made him wonder if anybody could even relate, but if someone could, it wouldn't be in this town. Part of that actually made him happy. He would never wish that on his worst enemy.

Footsteps broke him out of his thoughts only to see Aubrey coming down and washing her face with some cool water. He quietly shut his locker and walked over to her, leaning on the wall next to the sink she was using.

"You alright?"

He didn't know why he'd asked, but watching her patting her face dry with a paper towel while looking flustered drew his attention. He didn't expect anything more than an 'I'm fine' from her but it couldn't hurt to show interest. Besides, he didn't like seeing her upset, though that was another topic that confused him even further.

"I'm fine." She replied just as expected. Throwing the now damp paper in the bin she blew out a frustrated breath, moving wisps of hair that had fallen in her line of vision out of the way before she turned to look at him. "Shouldn't you be at lunch."

"I was on my way, you look like you could use a break though. My treat?"

You could see her contemplating the notion in her head. Her face scrunching in curiosity that he'd even cared to notice but then again it's not like she'd tried very hard to hide her agitated appearance. It took her a moment to think of why she shouldn't go to get lunch with him. They were getting to close. She was weirdly starting to develop feelings for him that she shouldn't be having considering his track record on the job. She wasn't even this chummy with the good employees let alone a less than mediocre one. But one reason alone made her say yes. She wanted to. It was as simple as that. Regardless of the thousand and one reasons she had not to.

"As long as you're buying."

His lips twitched into that infamous smirk he'd once done so well, as he nodded his head towards the doors and walked her out. Neither noticed the few looks from the others as they walked out through the front gate and out onto the street. He just hoped she wasn't coming to regret her decision. It was just lunch but he knew how women thought much more into these things.

"Where'd you have in mind?"

"Minnie's. I've been told it serves the best lunch in town."

Jax smiled, repeating the words she'd said on his first day on the job. It brought a light smile on her face as well upon the realization. It was enchanting to see that even the faintest hint of a smile could light up her face. The spark in her blue eyes just adding to her natural glow. He found himself observing her features at times when she wouldn't be looking. All the freckles on her face, the way she'd huff out a breath to move her hair from her eyes, the way her brows furrowed when she was intensely focused on something. He was captivated on all of her quirks.

"Ain't that the truth."

She boasted playfully as they started walking up the street. His hands hung by his side while hers were tucked into the pocket of her jean shorts, hints of tanned skin peeking through the rips. Though they walked together in comfortable silence, he could sense that she wasn't all there. Aubrey was the type to take things personally. Stress would eat her alive with each dilemma because she took all the responsibility on herself. It wasn't anything he was unfamiliar with either once being the president of SAMCRO but the more he found out about her, the more he could relate even if what they had in common weren't ideal situations.

"So - " She finally spoke, breaking their voiceless stroll down main street. "Those donuts were amazing by the way. Thank you."

"Nah, it wasn't a problem at all. I owe you a lot more than that."

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head with a small smile on her face. "The only thing I want from you is more days like today. You do that and it'll repay anything you think you owe Andy and me."

"I'll see what I can do then."

He laughed as he held the door open for her at Minnie's and followed her to an open booth by the windows. Much like every day that he came in for lunch, Jenny approached their table with a bright smile on her face, though it faltered slightly when she saw Aubrey was accompanying him. Jenny was a sweet girl. She took pride in her job and knowing each of her regulars but he had noticed she paid a little more attention to him.

"What can I get for ya'll?" She asked in her regularly cheerful tone.

"Hey, Jenny." Aubrey smiled up at her before taking one more glance at the menu. "I'll just have the all american with fries."

Jax's eyes widened slightly as a smile came to his face. Who knew this tiny little thing could eat? "I'll have the same Jenny, thanks. Got quite the appetite don't you?"

"You know how much I enjoy burgers. Can't have one everyday but Minnie's are my favorite."

"Good to know." He winked at her before smiling. "So you okay? Seems like your day ain't as good as it started out."

"Yeah."

She lowered her eyes as her fingertips played with the corner of a sugar packet from the container left on the tables. He could tell she didn't want to talk about it but he wanted to know what could be bothering her. It actually made him sad to know that she was having a bad day after how happy she looked this morning.

"It's just legal stuff with the shop. My mother had rights to the shop too and we've been trying to get her to relinquish those rights just like she signed off on me and Andy but our lawyer hasn't been able to get in touch with her for a few years."

"So you guys are afraid that one day she'll want part of the profits?"

"It's better to be safe than sorry. We haven't heard from her in years but who knows? Andy started this company from the bone up and when he retires it'll be left to me then my children. If she someday decides she wants to come back or goes broke - it might ruin all of those plans."

"I see. I'm sorry about that. What's Andy saying about this whole thing?"

"You know Andy." She shrugged. "He's so carefree and I'm all for whatever keeps him off the bottle but it's all left up to me."

"You know you could always come to me if you need any help, Aub."

"I wish you'd take your own advice on that one Mr. Dark and Depressed. You're always trying to hide so much. Andy's the way he is now because he let go of everything. I'm not saying you should talk to me or anyone if you're not ready - but dying in your own misery isn't okay."

The conversation got dark pretty instantly. Aubrey was done holding back and sugar coating everything for him. This must've been what Andy was talking about. She'd been around him enough times to know something was up. Christ - everyone had at this point. Most just didn't bring it up but that wasn't Aubrey. Much like everything - she'd had enough. The only problem was, he couldn't bare to see the look of horror and disgust on her beautiful face or from Andy or Norma and Jerry. These people liked the facade he had on when he was in public. The real Jax Teller was a monster that had to remain in the shadows.

* * *

Aubrey's eyes shifted back and forth between the clock and her paperwork. Teller was late, AGAIN, but more than usual this time. His shift had started two hours ago. This was the last straw. This man was fired. His alluring baby blues weren't going to get him out of this one. Ugh, those baby blues - the way they'd fixated on her, making her melt under his glare before his lips tasted hers. Shit, get it together Aubrey. He better be smarter than to think hitting on her and getting on her good side would get his ass off the hook. You could practically see the steam coming off of her head. This is why she didn't get close to employees.

The loud ring of the office phone snapped her out of her thought. Clearing her throat she placed the phone between her ear and her shoulder, holding it up as she rifled through some sheets.

"Beckett Auto Repair, this is Aubrey."

"Aubrey?" A frail voice sounded through the phone. "It's Norma, sweetie. Is Jax there?"

She furrowed her eyebrows in irritation at the mention of his name. "No, he was supposed to be in 2 hours ago. Hasn't showed."

"He never came in last night. Jerry was up all night waiting for him. I hope he's okay."

"I'm sure he's fine, Norma. Probably just stayed at his new house." She could sense the panic in the older woman's voice, but Jax wasn't her responsibility.

"That's just so unlike him. Regardless of what time it is - he always comes in. Should I call the sheriff's office?"

"No. No need to make this bigger than it is. I'll head over to his new place. Check if he's over there."

"Oh, would you please? Give me a call if you find him."

* * *

A/N : Hope you guys are enjoying this story!

I have a quick question - has anyone read That was then, this is now? Would anyone like a prequal?

My writing style has changed so much since I wrote my first story on there but I'm not sure how many people are interested in a Koizk story now that the shows over.

OR I could make that story about Jax instead of Kozik? Let me know.

I always have so many ideas going on about writing but I want to make sure you guys are interested!


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys, so my new story is up. It's called Young Wild Souls. In my last two updats I had asked if you guys wanted a prequel of That Was Then, This is Now and if you wanted it done with Kozik or changed to Jax. Well majority vote won and I'm writing the story with Jax and then rewriting the sequel with Jax as well. This will totally be an AU so please bare with me. It will hardly follow the show at all. I had to change a lot around to make the story work with Jax but I think it'll be a great one.

Please please please be sure to check it out and let me know what you think. Your opinions mean so much to me and it only motivates me to keep writing when I know people are enjoying it. I'm so excited to write this story and I think for those of you looking for an epic love story, you'll love it too. :)

* * *

She hung up the phone, sighing loudly before walking to the garage to grab Randy, one of the older employees at Beckett Auto. Randy knew the ins and outs of this place, and was usually placed in charge when Andy or herself were out. He was a family man, one of Andy's oldest and dearest friends. She explained what had to be done while she was out before grabbing her bag and leaving the lot.

A short while later, she was pulling into Jax's driveway. His car was there, just as she suspected. Getting out of her car, she made her way to the front door to see that it was unlocked. The man had a paranoia for safety, leaving the front door open wasn't something he would do, but how much did she really know about him?

"Jax?"

Aubrey called out as she entered, going through the rooms. Each room had bottles of beer scattered everywhere. Andy hadn't been there to help him yesterday so all of this must have been his. All she could do was follow the trail of bottles, leading her to the kitchen. And there he was. Passed out against the kitchen cabinets.

Any anger she was holding quickly transitioned into pity. As she took steps closer to him, she could see streaks of dried tears on his cheeks. Biting her lip nervously, she kneeled over beside of him. Her fingertips brushing against his cheek softly before reaching his shoulder, to give him a gentle shake.

"Jesus Christ."

Aubrey mumbled under her breath. He reeked of alcohol. She knew he had a problem and he'd lied straight to her face. Flashbacks of Andy laying on their kitchen floor, in a similar fashion hit her instantly. No wonder he was so quick to defend Jax. Placing her hands on his broad shoulders, she shook him a little more firmly, finally seeing a hint of movement from him. His eyes fluttered open slowly. They were bloodshot and red from the previous night's binge. Looking deep into them, she could see the excruciating sadness he held inside.

"What's going on with you, Jax?"

She finally asked after giving him a moment to regain consciousness. Her tone was softer than she'd anticipated. Deep down, she did have a soft spot for him, although she couldn't say why. Maybe it was because he reminded her so much of her father during his hard time, or maybe it was because he was a mystery to her. Someone she couldn't quite place her finger on. He held so much pain and sadness from a past life he'd never mention.

His eyes followed her movements as she sat down on the floor beside him, her fingertips combing his hair back out of his face. She saw hints of tears again as his eyes focused on a spot on the floor. He leaned his head on her shoulder and though she was taken aback by the contact, he placed her arm around his neck and rubbed his arm slowly to give him a moment.

"Jax." She whispered again. "What happened to you?"

* * *

What hadn't happened to him? What was becoming of him? He had tried desperately to hide all of his pain but he couldn't. He'd failed as a man, as a husband, as a father, and now even as a simple employee. Aubrey was the last person he wanted to show up here, to see him like this. Yet her soft touch and her soothing voice was gladly accepted.

He knew she'd expect answers but he didn't care at the moment. All he could do was stare at the tile next to the kitchen sink. With every blink, he could see Tara's lifeless body laying there. Even with his eyes open he could still see the stain left behind from her pool of blood. He was losing his mind. The closer he got to people here, the more guilty he felt about everything. Tara would've loved this town and everyone in it. She had begged him time and time again to move to an area like this. Talked about her dreams of the boys going to a good school and them growing old together. And what did she get? Slaughtered with a meat fork in her own kitchen and here he was buying a new home and a new life. None of this was fair. If he could - he would switch places with her in a heartbeat.

Goddamn Gemma. How could she do this to Tara. To his boys. To his life. What kind of mother wouldn't want her son to have a life like the one he was building here. This was safe. This was consistent, and normal, and non-violent. No, Gemma wouldn't have any of that and she used everything in her power to manipulate him over the years to thinking that life in the MC was greater than being an ordinary Joe. She'd say "You're going to die anyway, wouldn't you want to live a life worth remembering." Now the wrong person died and he was left to remember the horrors of that life.

"Jax."

She spoke quietly again. He realized he'd still been laying on her shoulder and she hadn't let up stroking his hair. She didn't have to do this. If she knew the man he really was, she wouldn't even be here. He'd never be able to face the people that were already considering him as family again. His tearful eyes met hers, crinkled on the edges as they narrowed at him full of concern. He shook his head and closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly in hopes of waking up from a nightmare but to no.

"I'm fine Aub. I'm alright. "

"I need you to tell me what's going on, darlin'. This," She motioned to him still sitting on the kitchen floor. "This right here is far from alright."

"You don't get it do you." He sat up a little straighter. "I can't tell you anything. I can't."

He couldn't. He wasn't going to lose another family to the monster that he was. That he had become. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom only to have her follow close behind. With his head still pounding, he opened the bathroom drawer to grab some aspirin before scarfing them down. He could see her leaning against the threshold, arms folded across her chest as she watched him. He couldn't deal with this. Not now.

"Why?" She pressed on. Why can't you tell me?"

"Look Aubrey. I appreciate your concern, but save it for someone who needs it 'cause it ain't me. My problems are mine alone.

"Jackson Teller. From the moment you came to this town, you've captured the hearts of everyone that you've come in contact with. Everyone in this town is concerned about you. Everyone cares. I had Norma calling the shop this morning, worried out of her wits that you hadn't come home last night. Damn near called the sheriff's office to look for you. Jerry was up all night. Now if you tell me you're in this alone then you're a lot dumber than I thought you were."

Jax listened closely but all he could do was lower his head. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes. He didn't want to believe any of it. How could he? He was a stranger to everyone. Nobody knew him. The real him and they damn sure wouldn't feel like that if they did.

"Jesus christ" He muttered as his hands shot up to his hair, smoothing it back out of his face. "Can we not do this now? My head is pounding and all I want is to take a shower."

"No. No we have to do this now. Who are you Jax? Why can't anyone get to know the real you?"

"Because I'm a monster!" He snapped. "If everyone saw me for me, knew what I've done - none of you would feel the way you say you do."

Aubrey jumped back at the sound of his voice. She'd never heard him shout before. He'd never cared enough. Even when they bickered and she got him mad - he just let things go, but what had he done? "Look, I'm sure you want to believe that, when Andy's wife left him - he was the same way. He kept telling himself he couldn't be loved if his one true love had left him but that's not the case Jackson."

"My wife never left me Aubrey. She was murdered by my mother."

The words escaped his mouth and his eyes widened immediately after noticing the mistake. Shit. Shit. Shit. How could he let that slip? How did she do that?! This is the bullshit she did that Andy had talked about. She was in his head. NO! This was NOT supposed to happen. He looked at her and she was still. Her eyes ranging in emotion from confusion to realization to pity all in a matter of seconds. He didn't need pity. He needed to be left alone.

"Jax.." She began but he wasn't having it.

"Is that what you wanted to know?! My own mother! My mother killed the love of my life. The mother of my boys!"

He sank down to the floor and he could feel all those emotions pouring out of him. The ones from deep down in his gut that he only unleashed at night in the comfort of his solitary with a bottle of Jack in his hand. Now there was no stopping them. But he had to. He couldn't do this yet he couldn't stop. He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed on his knees in the middle of his bathroom floor only to feel the warmth and comfort of her arms wrapping around him. He didn't know what to do about any of this - how it would all change, but right now - right this minute, he needed her. He wrapped his arms around her narrow waist and dug his face into her shoulder. Tears falling from his eyes soon soaking the thin cloth separating their skin.

* * *

Dead wife. Homicidal mother. Boys? Jesus Christ. As she held the broken man against her all she wanted to do was take his pain away. This man, as strange as his story was, had a good heart and soul. The pain he felt wasn't one anyone deserved. She let him cry a while longer, not sure what to really say but there was more to it. She could only imagine the anguish he was feeling.

"Jax, why don't you take a shower. I'll make you some food alright? Everything's alright sweetheart."

She helped him up as best she could and watched as he pulled off his shirt while she got the water ready. As she was about to walk out her eyes caught sight of the shattered man once again. His shoulders hung low. His eyes bloodshot and swollen. This was a can of worms she had never expected to get into but now she just wanted to get to the bottom of things. All this new information just brought up more questions. Why did his mother kill his wife? Where were his kids? Why was he 3,000 miles away from them? There would be time for that later. Now all she wanted to do was get him sobered up and fed. Once he pulled himself together she would get to the bottom of all this. Andy really should get in the habit of doing background checks on his employees but then again, Jax was the only outsider in years.

After opening the fridge to find nothing but bottles of beer, she called one of the pizza shops in town for delivery and decided to clean what she could on the meantime. There was no place to even at anything down at this point. Hell in just two days the place had only started to look worse but then again, she had already figured that this was more therapeutic than an actual project.

"Shit. Norma's probably still worried sick."

She mumbled to herself before reaching for her phone. Norma had really taken a liking to Jax. Treated him like he was his own son. Sure she was always the motherly type but Norma had a soft spot for him. What was more surprising was that Jerry did to. Jerry didn't like anyone very much. Other than his wife, Jerry kept his interactions with others very minimal. That left one extra question. Does she tell them that he was a drunken mess on the ground? Probably not. This was something she could handle on her own. There was no need to worry anyone else.

"Hey Norma, it's Aubrey."

"Aubrey? Have you found him? Is he alright?!"

"He's fine Norma. He was just up late working on the house. I found him asleep when I got here."

"Oh thank god! Is he good for food? I can't imagine he's had much to eat over there."

She smiled hearing the concern in the frail voice coming through the phone. "I ordered us some pizza. He's fine. No need to worry."

"Well alright dear. Tell him not to be late tonight. He needs some rest."

"Will do! Take care."

"Who was that?"

His voice startled her as she hung up the phone and turned around. She was about to speak but her words quickly for caught in her throat when she saw him in just boxers. This was the third time in two days she'd seen him shirtless and each time caught her by surprise. Lowering her eyes, she cleared her throat before putting hey phone in her back pocket.

"I called Norma to let her know you were okay. Pizza is on the way, why don't you, uh, go put on some clothes."

He hung his head and nodded before walking back towards the bathroom to change. He took a little while. She assumed he was just trying to stall the inevitable conversation but it would have to happen sooner or later.

Once the pizza arrived, she took the box of to the back deck and sat on the stairs where he would soon find her, coming out with two beers in hand. She let him sit for a moment, wondering if she should take the bottle away but decided against it for the moment and let him take a bite of a slice.

"So," she finally spoke up. "Start from the beginning."


	9. Chapter 9

_"So," she finally spoke up. "Start from the beginning." _

The words rang over and over in Jax's head. From the beginning. Where the fuck was the beginning? Did he start back to his birth? To his father and Tara leaving? Or did he start when she came back and he had to kill a fed by she saved his son's life so it was the least he could do. Did he tell her about the gun running? The porn business? The backhanded deals with other clubs? What about the brothers they'd lost? The blood they'd shed? Where was the beginning of his story.

He looked at Aubrey's face, painted with curiosity and concern. She wasn't going to let this go and right now at this very moment, he didn't know if he wanted her to. With a deep breath in, he looked at her expectant face.

"What do you want to know?"

He could see her pondering the question. It clearly held weight for her. How much did she want to know? Was it his life story or just a summary. He picked at the label on his beer, peeling it off nervously as he waited for her to finally speak up.

"Jax, I want to know everything. Who were you?"

He sighed heavily but nodded. "I was born and raised in Charming, California. My father, John Teller, was president of the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club."

"The tattoo on your back..." She interrupted quietly, taking more to herself than to him.

"Yeah. He wanted the club to be about loyalty, brotherhood, but it grew into more. Eventually the club grew, charters formed all over the country, even one in Ireland. Things started going south when the club started running guns. Providing them to other clubs and gangs around that area. By then my brother Thomas had gotten sick. 'The family flaw' my mother called it. When he died, JT lost his way. Started taking more and more trips to Ireland where he started a whole new family. Gemma, my mom, she moved on with his best friend Clay. JT died when I was 16 and Clay married my mom and became president of the MC. After I got my GED, my I was patched in with my best friend Opie. Shit started getting worse a few years ago. My ex wife was a crank addict, she gave birth to my first son Abel. He was ten weeks premature. Had a hole in his heart and half a stomach but my high school sweetheart was a surgeon and helped save his life. We went through our share of fights. She always wanted me to leave the club..."

His eyes started to water and he had to take a minute to catch himself. This all needed to be said. Purged even. He'd been keeping it inside for so long he felt like he was going to explode. He couldn't look her in the eyes. Any sense of judgment would break him, but the feel of her fingertips running up and down his arm seemed to show that there was none.

"I should've listened to her." He began again after wiping his eyes. "Anyway, Abel got kidnapped by some crazy Irish guy and we had to go find him in Belfast. That's how I found out about my dad's second family. When I got back, I found out Tara was pregnant. We had the ATF on us at that time and got a 14 month sentence in Stockton. She had Thomas when I was in there. When I got out, I proposed. I never wanted to be part of that again. I never wanted to be away from my family again. I guess while I was in there, Tara got her hands on some letters from my dad saying my stepfather would be responsible for his death. Clay found out she had the letters and tried to have her killed by the cartel we were working with at the time. That's when I became president. Got Clay locked up for a murder he didn't commit then when he escaped, we killed him and an IRA king. I watched my best friend get beaten to death in front of me. My wife got arrested for allegedly being involved in the murder of a prison nurse and her psycho brother wanted revenge. She stopped talking to me after that. When she got out she faked a pregnancy and miscarriage so I would sign off my moms rights to the kids. The DA was on her ass to make a deal against me and the club. She tried to run with the boys but I caught her. After we made up, I was going to turn myself in in exchange for her freedom. I guess Gemma thought she ratted and..."

Jax paused. Unable to get the words out. All he could think about was the moment he walked into the kitchen to see her lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. Tears filled his eyes again and he took a sip from his bottle before taking another deep shaky breath.

"When I got home to say goodbye, she was lying there on the kitchen floor. Blood was everywhere. A large pool around her head. We all thought this was a hit on the club. An attack on me. Gemma said it was the Chinese. Said she saw them scoping out my house when she drove by. It started an all out war. I saw red. From then on, everything was about getting revenge. I destroyed anything and everything that got in my way, we lost good men. Great men. When I found out it was my own mother, i lost it. I couldn't understand why. Why she would do something like that, but despite everything - I knew what I had to do. It was who we were. She knew it. She was ready. I had to. For Tara."

Her eyes widened and her small hand covered her mouth. He could only imagine what was going on through her mind. She hated him. Thought he was the devil himself and he wouldn't blame her.

"Where are your boys Jax?"

The question caught him by surprise. Out of all the things she could have questioned. "I couldn't stay there after killing Gemma. I gave up my patch. I sold my house, transfered all my money to my ex wife and my mother's boyfriend Nero. She'd straightened out her life, got to know the boys. And Nero- he was a great guy. Had his properties straight. They're with him at his uncle's farm. I wanted Wendy to make sure my boys knew I was a criminal. That I was no good. I wanted them to hate the thought of me. They deserve better. Tara deserved better. She didn't deserve the life she got with me. None of them did. I wanted them all to think I'm dead so they can have a chance. "

"Jesus Christ. I really should run background checks on new employees."

He lifted his eyes to look at her. She took a long pull from her beer as she stared at the floor. It felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulders. He'd never in his life said any of that out loud. Not to an outsider but it felt good to be able to speak. To say anything.

"Aubrey, nobody here can know. I didn't come to cause trouble. I came here to start over, to lay low."

She finally nodded after a few moments of silence. There wasn't much she could say. He looked at her gratefully but his heart was beating out of his chest. He'd never put himself out there as far as he had with her. He'd never felt as vulnerable as he did now.

"Are the police looking for you? I can't have a wanted criminal working at the shop."

"No." He shook his head."The club was able to take care of everything back home."

She was silent for a few more minutes, her hands still resting on his arm. She didn't seem scared or nervous, but it was a lot to take in. He could see her trying to make sense of everything in her head. He had been the one to live it and he couldn't make sense of it.

"What do you plan on doing now?"

"Nothing." He lowered his head and shook it slowly. "I have nothing left."

* * *

His life was like a movie. One full of violence and death. Looking at the man sitting in front of her today, Aubrey couldn't see him as the killer he'd described. As the hardened criminal who had done all of those things. She couldn't help but just sit there and stare at him. Repeating all of his words over and over in his head. How could she possibly wrap her head around all of it.

Jax had lived a whole life before coming to Maple Hill. He'd had a family. He'd been in jail. He was in charge of a dangerous biker club. He'd killed people. That's the one thing she couldn't get over, yet looking at this broken man - she could see how it had taken its toll on him. The worry lines on his gorgeous face. The darkened sadness behind his eyes. The numerous scars in his body that her eyes hadn't missed.

All in all she didn't have much choice but to believe him that it was all behind him. In the few months that he'd been here, he'd damn near drank himself to death. Maybe he was over that life. Maybe this was him reaching out for help. Some sort of branch to hang onto before he fell into a pit of self destruction. Could she possibly help him out? She had a whole town helping when Andy fell into his pit but Jax's case was much bigger. Jax's case was solely between him and her.

With a deep breath in, she realized she'd been staring at him but spaced out in her own thoughts that she didn't even realize he'd been crying. Hell, she hadn't even realized it was dark out. Instinctively she'd put her bottle down and wrapped her arms around him, tucking his head in her neck as she felt him cry harder at her comfort.

"Shh," she hushed, running her fingers through his hair as she kissed his head. "It'll be okay. We'll get you through this."

Aubrey felt him suddenly pull her up on his lap, her legs wrapping around either side of him. His arms wrapped around her body, consuming her small figure with his. She laid her head on his shoulder as he rocked them gently until Jax was out of tears. All this time she'd been so hard on him but he'd been harder on himself, punishing himself for the life he'd been born into. How could someone ever get over that?

After a while, his head finally lifted and his eyes looked into hers. He stared for a moment as if trying to find the answers in her eyes. Looking down at him she could only see that sadness radiating off of him. Before she knew it, his lips were on hers again, giving her a soft needing kiss and she couldn't help but return it. Her hands rested on his cheeks as his tongue caressed hers. The feel of his rough hands moving down her sides drove her crazy as they pulled her closer to his bare chest.

"Jax," she whispered against his lips, clearing her throat slowly as she pulled away. She knew his need for comfort, but this wasn't the way. "I can't say that I understand, but I can say that you'll be okay.."

"It doesn't matter what I do anymore.. Just as long as those kids live the life Tara wanted them to."

He hung his head, resting it on her shoulder and she felt her eyes well up for him. She could hear the truth behind them. He genuinely didn't care what was left of him anymore. Biting her lip, she ran her fingers over the letters of the tattoo on his bare back. It was depressing to hear a man in his prime talking like this. He still had so much life to live and he wasn't even interested in it anymore.

"Come on." She stood up slowly. "Let's get you some fresh clothes, you could take a nap at my house. Get some real rest. We can talk about this later."

He looked up at her for a moment as she held out her hands. She couldn't imagine what was going on in his head, but his self destruction wasn't a way to live. No matter how many wrongs you go through in life, no one deserved to feel like this. There were so many questions left unanswered but now wasn't the time for that. She could see that it took a lot out of him just to tell her that. Anything more might break him. So she took his hand after he accepted and helped him up, watched as he went back into the bathroom to put on the rest of his clothes, before walking to her car to meet up with him.

* * *

Jax opened his eyes. He was tucked into bed. Aubrey's bed. The sheets smelled of her perfume. Flowery and sweet. He didn't think he was that tired. Didn't even think he could sleep like he just had. It'd been months since he could. He was slowly imploding with every day he'd held that inside of him. Hiding everything about himself. The sense of relief he got from even saying that to one person made all the difference. She handled it better than expected. Better than he thought anyone would expect it. Maybe it just hadn't hit her yet. Maybe once it did - she'd freak out and never want anything to do with him anymore. He'd have to leave town and start all over somewhere else. Somewhere where nobody would even give him a second look. He didn't know if he had that in him again. He didn't want to have it in him again. With a heavy sigh, he looked at the empty side of the bed. He'd grown so tired of seeing it but he couldn't imagine having anyone that would fill it.

Yes he could. He could see Aubrey filling it. Strangely. He'd dreamt of her sleepy hair, laid over the pillow. Her face peacefully dreaming as she curled into his side. He didn't know what the possibility of that would be now that she knew all of that. He didn't deserve her either. She deserved someone with a fresh life. A normal life. Not someone with kids and a criminal background. A murderer. A monster. That's not what she needed.

Stepping off of the bed slowly, he saw a post it note on the nightstand. "Going to wrap up at the shop. Food in the oven. Make yourself at home." His eyes shifted to the clock, 10:42pm. It was later than she'd usually stay but he could only imagine the mess she'd have to deal with after tending to him all day. She'd even taken the time to cook?

Making his way to the kitchen, he took the time to look through pictures on her wall. They were mostly of her and Andy. Some from her childhood. Aubrey was a cute kid. Definitely grew into her teeth. He chuckled to himself before walking into the kitchen to check her oven. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and baked Mac and cheese. He was in love. Jax rummaged through her cabinets until he found a plate and made one for, heating it up in the microwave before sitting down to eat it slowly.

The door opened a few minutes later and he heard footsteps coming his way. He leaned forward to see Aubrey walking in, leaving her purse by the front door before she huffed out an irritated breath and entered the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're awake."

She said after spotting him stuffing his face. He could see she wasn't looking like herself. She was drained. It must have been a lot for her to take in. Without a word, she filled a plate for herself and put it in the microwave. Leaning forward with her arms in the counter she blankly stared at the turning plate.

"Look Aub, this was a lot to put on you. I'm sorry."

He began but she still didn't say a word, just grabbed her plate and a beer from the fridge before sitting down next to him au the table. Popping open the bottle she took a huge swig before leaning back in her seat and looking at him for a moment.

"That's not it, Jax." She blew out a breath and took another pull from her beer. "I just don't know how to take all of this. I mean, you need help. I want to help you because no matter what you've done - what you've been through - I know you have a good heart. I just... I need to wrap my mind around everything you've told me."

He hung his head as she spoke. He didn't need help. He needed to be left alone for the rest of his life, but he understood be need for time. She was associating with a criminal. A murder of all things. How does someone so early get over knowing any of that. One thing he did know was that he didn't want to lose whatever type of relationship be had with her. With any of these people. They'd all need so good to him and even now that Aubrey knew and she was still here. Still trying to help him.


	10. Chapter 10

Aubrey sat down at her kitchen table, her head in her hands as she stared blankly at the hot cup of tea in front of her. Jax was still asleep in the guest room but she couldn't bring herself to rest. The thought of Jax doing all those horrible things weighed heavy on her. She knew he was mysterious, knew he had a history that was eating him alive but this was not what she'd imagined. He'd had an entire life before he got here. He'd been married twice. Divorced. Widowed. He'd had two baby boys. He'd killed his mother and stepfather, among hundreds of others.

So... why wasn't she more concerned? Why wasn't she scared? Why did the thought of him being in so much pain pull at her heart strings? Why? It wasn't something she could answer. The defeated look on his face told her that he was punishing himself more than anyone else could. She grabbed the cup, holding it in her hand for a moment, watching it ripple before a sip and letting of a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

She couldn't let this man destroy himself over something he was thrown into. How could he know any better when his whole world revolved around violence and lies? It made no sense that she was defending him against her own judgemental thoughts but she was. Her heart and her mind were at war with the idea of Jax Teller.

Footsteps caught her attention and she looked up to see a disheveled looking man coming into the kitchen in nothing but the shorts he'd fallen asleep in. His usual slicked back hair was laid back and frizzed from tossing and turning. His bright blue eyes were darkened and red. Her eyes wandered down his hard body to three large scars under good left pec before she lowered them again to stare at her tea.

"What are you doing up?" She asked as he approached the table, taking a seat across from her. "Its 3am."

"I could ask you the same." He retorted.

She lifted her eyes to meet his again. The sadness she'd seen before was now mixed with concern. She didn't know what to tell him. She didn't know why she was up. This should be a no questions asked situation. He was a criminal. An all around bad guy. The only logical thing to do is fire him and make him leave town. But that was the last thing she wanted. Deep down in her heart, she wanted to protect him. Save him from any and all heart break.

"You want some tea?"

"Got anything stronger?"

"Beer?"

"Please."

Though she hesitated, she was in no mood to argue. Getting up from the seat, she lowered her shirt slightly to cover her panties as she walked over to the fridge, returning with a cold beer. Sitting back at the table, the two sat in comfortable silence before Jax spoke up again.

"Had a dream about my boys..." He said catching her attention. "They came to find me. Thomas didn't recognize me but Abel did. He just kept asking why. Why I let Tara die. Why I abandoned them."

She listened to him speak. This was the first time he'd freely opened up on his own, without her pushing for more. It was good in a way, to have him release the pain need been holding so deep inside. It was the first step towards getting better. This was never something he would get over but getting past it would be a long process. He paused for a moment, taking a long pull from his beer before looking up at meet her expectant eyes.

"I don't know if I did the right thing, Aubrey. I struggle with it day in and day out. The only thing I do know, is they'd never have a good life with a dad like me."

"You may think that, but there are worse people than you out there. Parents who don't even give a shit about their kids. You don't see it now, but your boys would've been fine. You didn't go back to that life, Jax. You moved on. You came here to start a quiet life. One that they would thrive in. So why did you really leave them with your ex?"

He looked into her eyes, taken aback by her bluntness. "Because this was never planned..." He admitted quietly. More to himself than to her. "When I left, I took the bike my dad had died on. I had full intentions of letting go of the handle bars and drifting off into the next 18 Wheeler. Going out like my old man did. But when it came down to it, I couldn't. I chickened out like a coward."

"Jesus, Jackson." She mumbled under her breath. "Why?"

"What reason do I have to live, Aub." He shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "I can never face my sons again. I failed them. I failed their mother. They were the most important people in my life but having me in theirs was a tragedy waiting to happen."

Aubrey stood up, walking over to his side of the table before kneeling down in front of him. Her soft hands cupping his cheeks. Her fingertips gently running through the hairs of his beard as his eyes stared into hers. That anguish behind causing her heart to break.

"Those boys need to be with their father. They belong with you, Jax. Bring them home. Here. They deserve that. You won't have to do this alone. We're all here to help you -" He lowered his gaze, unable to face her but she just lifted his chin. "I'm here to help you."

* * *

Jax looked down into her bright blue eyes. Even in the redness from lack of sleep, they glistened like little blue gems. Even in her night shirt, her hair in messy waves, her face free of any make up, she was beautiful. Genuine in every sense of the word. She cared. He wasn't sure why but she did. He'd opened himself up to her more than anyone he'd ever known and she looked at him free of any judgment. Tara knew parts of his life, the club knew others - but Aubrey - Aubrey knew all of it. From both sides. From every angle. She'd sat there and listened to every single thing he'd ever done, ever regretted and not once did the look on her face turn to disgust.

Now here she was, listening to his frequent nightmare and showing concern for his boys. The thought of Thomas and Abel being here with him made his heart beat quicker. There was nothing he would want more than to start over for them. He had no doubt that the people of Maple Hill would help him. They truly cared. There wasn't any backhand expectations. No deals. They helped because they were neighbors and just like Andy had said... 'round here, neighbors and friends were the same thing.

What stuck out to him the most was her willingness to help him. To help his boys. She had no reason to. Most of the time they were at each other's throats. He was sure she hated him, yet here they were. Here she was. Sitting here at 3 in the morning, being the voice of reason. Offering any and everything he needed.

He gazed into her eyes until his lips lowered to meet hers. The taste of sweet tea still lingering on them as ran his tongue slowly over them. She parted them slightly, allowing his tongue to roam her mouth as it brushed against hers, slowly at first but then the hunger kicked in.

Jax placed his hands onto her tiny waist, lifting her up onto his lap so she straddled him and deepened the kiss. Her heard her let out a small moan as he sat her on his already hard member. Her fingertips gently running along his back leaving trails of fire on his skin. With all the women he'd been with, none of them had this effect on him. Aubrey's touch was electric. It woke all of his senses and left him yearning for more at any lack of contact.

This woman against him was something special. She was strong and soft at all the right times. Maybe he was more like Andy than he thought? Maybe he did need a woman by his side in order to function. Maybe she was the woman for him. No she could never replace would always have his heart. But Aubrey... Aubrey would be his savior from himself. Aubrey would help him make things right.

His hands ran up her bare thighs until he felt this soft cotton cloth of her boy shorts before he slid them up the back of her shirt. The cool touch of his hand callused hands against the heat of the satin skin on her back caused her to let out another mesmerizing sound. Jax pulled her tighter against him as her hips began to move on his, her fingers running through his hair as she kissed him deeper, full of need. She tugged his hair slightly,, causing him to growl into their kiss.

Aubrey pulled away slowly, her forehead leaning against his as they breathed heavily. Her eyes remained closed until she caught her breath. His hand reached up to caress her cheek softly when she opened her eyes to look down at his.

"Jax." She whispered.

"Shh."

He insisted. His lips meeting hers again and though she hesitated momentarily, she quickly gave in. Her hands cupping his cheeks as she pulled him in closer. The comfort of her touch clearing his mind of everything. It had been so long since he'd wanted the touch of another woman. Especially one that meant more to him than a one night fuck.

Standing up with her in his arms, he walked towards the bedrooms. Their lips never parting on the walk down the hallway. Kicking open the door, he laid her back against the bed, sliding himself up between her legs. Her lips moved down lower to his neck and he couldn't stop himself from groaning under his breath. Her touch, her hot mouth, her legs wrapped around him. Everything felt so intoxicating.

He ran his hand down her body, grabbing the ends of her shirt to pull yank it off over her head. Pulling away slightly he took sight of her beautiful round breasts as they pressed against his bare chest. Even in the dark he could see the blush of red that had swept her cheeks. It brought a small smirk to his face that he could have that effect on her. As he made his way down her thin neck to her chest, he popped one of her hardened nipples in his mouth, his tongue slowly stroking it, eliciting a low moan from her.

Aubrey's fingertips ran through his hair, tugging it slightly to bring him back up to her lips as her free hand worked on pushing down his boxers. His hands traveled down to her panties, his fingers curling over the edge of their soft waistband as he tugged them down her legs. Her breathing got heavier the lower they went but just as he was making his way down, his phone went off. Both of them froze, looking at each other confused. Who the fuck would be calling him at this time? Whatever, now was not the time for this. Jax leaned back down to kiss her soft skin once again but the phone began to ring for a second time.

"Jax." She leaned up on her elbows. "Check who it is."

"They can wait." He whispered, his lips returning to meet hers but she pushed him back, nodding her head towards the phone.

With a sigh, he looked at the screen to see Norma calling. "It's Norma." He placed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

Aubrey watched as his face went from annoyed to concerned in a matter of seconds. "What is it?" she asked as she sat up immediately.

"It's Jerry. He had a heart attack. They're at Maple Hill Memorial right now."


	11. Chapter 11

Hi Guys! I know I haven't updated in a long while but I've been so busy with school and travel but I have been working on a few special projects. I've written a lot of fanfiction stories these last couple of years and I decided to create my own website for them. All of my Sons of Anarchy ones, and I'm working on one with Charlie Hunnam and Julian Edelman (random, I know) but please check it out. This just gives me the freedom to create without restrictions. I can write about anyone I want and even create original content. I'll be posting the rest of my updates on that side and if you follow the blog, they get emailed straight to you.

daydreamsonpaper . com

I've just launched it today and will be posting all of the stories up on there. Please please please check it out and let me now what you think!


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